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Horoscope
Dec. 20–26, 2006
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Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)It’s supposed to be good luck to fold 1,000
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)It’s supposed to be good luck to fold 1,000 origami cranes in a year. I’m…
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Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)It’s summertime. Your life should be about sunshine and
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)It’s summertime. Your life should be about sunshine and abundance right now, not sickly shades…
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Gemini (May 21–June 20)Geminis are generally quite well-adjusted people. Your dual nature
Gemini (May 21–June 20)Geminis are generally quite well-adjusted people. Your dual nature is rife with internal checks and…
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Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)You’d be surprised at how much time is devoted
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)You’d be surprised at how much time is devoted to discussion of you when you’re…
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Aries (March 21–April 19)Fuck modesty, selflessness, and moderation. Yeah, that’s right. I
Aries (March 21–April 19)Fuck modesty, selflessness, and moderation. Yeah, that’s right. I know. I can’t believe I’m telling…
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Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)Being nitpicky could be your downfall this week. I
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)Being nitpicky could be your downfall this week. I know you want everything to be…
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Taurus (April 20–May 20)Use some of your vacation time. You’ve been hoarding
Taurus (April 20–May 20)Use some of your vacation time. You’ve been hoarding it for what? Take the week…
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Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)Relinquish all hope of wallflower status this week. You’re
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)Relinquish all hope of wallflower status this week. You’re wearing reverse camouflage, the opposite of…
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Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)The word Libra is Latin for “balance.” But unless
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)The word Libra is Latin for “balance.” But unless you know that, it’s not the…
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Sign Language
Gemini (May 21–June 20) Backward is the new forward. It’s true; not only will straight lines and linear…
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Gemini (May 21–June 20)Fix the slow drip on your kitchen tap, seal
Gemini (May 21–June 20)Fix the slow drip on your kitchen tap, seal that drafty bedroom window, or repair…
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Sign Language
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Get bitten by a radioactive superspider, if you can. Having Spidey’s paranormal abilities would…
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Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)Some outside influence—maybe your spouse, boss, or neighbor—has forced
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)Some outside influence—maybe your spouse, boss, or neighbor—has forced you to act contrary to your…