On Phone

Nutter: Broiler?

Broiler: Nutter?

Nutter: I’ve been toweled and can smell fun in the air.

Broiler: I smell something too, plus I am naked all over also.

Nutter: Me too.

Broiler: But I am in the shower! I am on the phone in the shower!

Nutter: Cordless phones make my days convenient and powerful!

Broiler: What is a cordless phone?

Nutter: Ha, ha, ha. Yes, you said a mouthful. But why are you calling me, Broiler?

Broiler: You are calling me, Nutter.

Nutter: All of this shower talk makes me thirsty.

Broiler: For tankards at Von’s?

Nutter: Tankards at Von’s!

Broiler: I love tankards at Von’s.

Nutter: Me too. I love tankards at Von’s.

At Von’s

Nutter: Broiler, look at those funny tankards.

Broiler: They are for little babies with small mouths and no heads.

Nutter: Sir, look at those funny tankards for babies.

Sir: Those are shot glasses.

Nutter: Nope.

Broiler: Nutter, look, football plays on the television. But there are no Seahawks flying about. Impostors!

Nutter: John Kitna, John Kitna, where is John Kitna?

Broiler: He is most likely shopping for crabs or maybe fishes.

Nutter: But where does one acquire such exotic beasts?

Broiler: Maybe in the ocean?

Nutter: To the ocean!

Broiler: Wait, my tankard is not drunk, and me neither too.

Nutter: This football is boring because there are no interception machines. I have finished my chicken’s fingers and am now ready for ocean fare.

Broiler: Me too. Except I ate my whole chicken and left the fingers. To the ocean fair!

En Route

Nutter: Broiler, why do all of these roads fall down hill?

Broiler: It’s because of the tides. They are like little wise men who make all of the decisions easily for everyone.

Nutter: Look, someone has written NO-WTO. NOW TO what Broiler?

Broiler: Now to the ocean!

Nutter: You’re smarter than me I bet!

Broiler: You’re on!

At Market

Nutter: Oh my, look! It’s a frozen pig! It’s like he’s locked in time and cannot move, or does not want to maybe.

Broiler: Why would he? Look at this magical place we have discovered. It is so sanitary. What is it called?

Nutter: This sign says “Sanitary Public Market.” Broiler, I think you purchase crazy people here.

Broiler: Get on the pig, Nutter!

Nutter: What do I do with him now?

Broiler: Teach it a lesson it will keep and teach to its frozen piglet babies.

Nutter: Oooh, I see crabs and bats and other exotic beasts. Could this be the ocean?

Broiler: Yes. And over there—it’s a fish flying without an airplane or jet pack!

Nutter: Or a helmet! He is fabulous. I must taste him.

Broiler: There are so many here resting on the ice.

Nutter: I think they are sleeping.

Broiler: They are unambitious, lazy fish. No flying or computer careers for them.

Nutter: Sir, why are your fish so lazy?

Fish guy #1: 20-POUND SALMON!

Fish guy #2: 20-POUND SALMON!

Nutter: Aaahh! They are screaming at me!

Broiler: You’ve insulted their friends, now we must run!

Nutter: With friends like that who needs fish, Broiler?

Broiler: Look Nutter, a food rainbow.

Nutter: Watch out for leprechauns, they love rainbows.

Broiler: There’s one now! I will squeeze him until he tells where he keeps the gold. I’ve got him. His teeth are sharp and wily, hurry—ask him Nutter!

Nutter: Mr. Green Leprechaun, where is the John Kitna football machine?

Grocer: Are you planning on buying that artichoke, sir?

Nutter: Ha, ha, he called you sir like you wear pants or have money!

Broiler: Shhhh, I am not amused by what comes out of you any longer. Nutter?

Nutter: Over here. I have found toys and games and candy and, look Broiler, a football! It is a gold pot of fun!

Broiler: Surely we are on the right track if there are footballs lying about.

Nutter: You go run over there and be a man who catches footballs, and I will be John Kitna and throw one at you. Oopsie.

Broiler: Wow! You missed me completely and hit the angry market person in the face. You are John Kitna!

Woman: Watch it, you fucking retards!

Nutter: Ha, ha, ha, surely she is unsane and not without faults of her own.

Broiler: Your truth echoes voluminously with volume, like your no hair.

Nutter: Look over there Broiler. That fruit vendor! She, she is like a dream of a chocolate parfait moon the way she handles those oranges.

Broiler: But one look from her will turn your heart to stone. She cools the cabbage with her icy unmentionables.

Nutter: I’m thirsty too. All of the colors and/or excitement has made my brain squishy like a dead porcupine.

Broiler: I bet if tourists knew about this magical insanity market, they would spend their entire vacations staring slack-jawed at the tricky fish!

Nutter: We must tell the world about this secret compound of edible elves and sacred lunch airplanes.

Broiler: But for now, that horrible sober feeling is finding me in my head.

Nutter: Me too. Let us go to Von’s and get tankards instead!

Broiler: Tankards at Von’s!

Nutter: I love tankards at Von’s.

Broiler: Me too. I love tankards at Von’s too.

Nutter: Maybe John Kitna will be there.

Broiler: Let’s run faster then! Also!