The annoyingly precocious Lisa Simpson once stopped crying into her saxophone long enough to explain to Marge, “Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.” The spiky-haired second grader made a good point. Shakespeare’s dreamy sonnets have long been replaced by reality-TV roses and hokey diamond commercials. But expressing one’s amorous feelings need not translate into a painfully cliched gift. Babeland hosts a workshop featuring Carolyn Hall from Hedgebrook, a renowned retreat for women writers, to get your creative juices flowing. Following a survey of excellent prose by writers ranging from Shakespeare to Tupac (“Whassup Boo? Swear I’ll never call you bitch again”), students will craft personalized love letters to their significant other(s). Sound lame? Think again. The love letter is a fast-dying tradition that is absolutely breathtaking when properly done. Shakespeare spit enough game on paper to allegedly snag players from both teams. The point: Take the class, get some ass. Now that’s inspiring. Babeland, 707 Pike St., 328-2914, www.babeland.com. $20. 7:30 p.m. ERIKA HOBART Sun., Feb. 10, 7:30 p.m., 2008