It’s the longest day of the year, and bicyclists clad–for lack of a better word–in body paint will be racing through the streets of Fremont, leading off the Solstice Parade (at noon). Even if this doesn’t sound like wholesome family fun, rest assured this weekend’s Fremont Fair (through Sunday) has plenty of opportunities for both elder exhibitionists and innocent tots. Yes, there’s a beer garden for those over 21, while the tiny teetotalers can explore the new Playground in the Park. Children will love the animal figurines covering just one of many sculptures-on-wheels at the Art Car Blowout, which includes the purse-laden Excessories Odd-yssey minivan. Just about anyone can get into open-mike stations and outdoor concerts, or enjoy saving the environment at the fair’s EcoZone. Just don’t forget to cover the kids’ eyes before the green ass-cheeks and purple pendulous breasts go cranking by. Or not. People’s Republic of Fremont, www.fremontfair.com. $1 (suggested). 10 a.m.–8 p.m. JOSHUA LYNCH

June 21-22, 10 a.m.-8 p.m., 2008