IF YOU’VE SOMEHOW never encountered the oblique charms of Vegas washout Dina Martina, this month provides an opportunity to catch up with the messy romance the rest of us have been enjoying for more than a decade. April finds her back to her roots at Re-bar (after some vaguely grander appearances at On the Boards) in a two-part, tour de force collection of her finest theatrical moments—and the sublimely random decimation of popular entertainment they represent. I recently had the chance to catch up with Miss Martina—alter ego of gifted local performer Grady West—to discuss her life, her show, and her admiration for nightstands.
Come Back to the Re-bar, Dina Martina, Dina Martina: The Best of Dina, Parts 1 & 2
Re-bar opens April 19
Seattle Weekly: When did you first know that you wanted to spend your life entertaining the masses?
Dina martina: Oh, there were so many! When I was very young, my mother took me to see the Royal Lipisome Stallions, which was very inspiring. And every time I watched The Pepperidge Family, because Laurie and I were so close in age. I would wear my skinhead wig while watching the show and pretend that I was Laurie’s bald twin sister. The family was too embarrassed to be seen with me in public, though, so they would leave me at home to watch them perform on TV.
SW: Your latest show is a “best of” showcase at Re-bar. For the uninitiated, what would you say it is that you do the best?
DM: Well, I’m a people person, so I like to be with the peoples. And I was born in the trunk, so I’m a natural-born entertainer, and I really think there is something to be said for that. I may not have a GED in psychiatry, but I do have fingers and I know that people without fingers cannot do jazz hands.
SW: What kind of footage is on these videos that I hear you’ll be selling at intermission?
dm: That is a very good question, but merchandising deals with that, so I do not know. I am hoping there will be some footage of the Hindenburg. And people walking. I love that.
SW: What exactly is this Traveling Revolving Olde Tyme Las Vegas Museum that will be on display?
dm: I’m glad you asked that, because it is a wunderkind of my own brainchild. This museum is a world-class m鬡nge of olde worlde gamble-iana and Las Vegan collectibilia, the likes of which has remained to be unparalleled in the world as we today know it. Seattle is the final North American stop, and then we move on to the Canadian hemisphere and Amerasia. My hope here in Seattle is that the simple folk will bring their little drinking-aged children to see the museum at Re-bar, so that it may make inroads into them.
SW: A greatest-hits program indicates a kind of career longevity. Why do you think it is you’ve remained popular for as long as you have?
DM: I like to think it is because I am buoyant. Just when you think I am retaining water, I float back to you. Like the proverbial fetus rising from the ashes.
SW: Do you ever feel pressure to keep reinventing yourself, like Madonna?
DM: Not really. I think that of all the ladies in the Bible, I can mostly identify with Mary, mother of Magdalene.
SW: Do you see yourself as a sort of icon?
dm: What a good question! Really, thank you for asking that.
SW: Does your fame make it your responsibility to act as a role model for others?
DM: Well, I prefer the term “plus-size model,” but the answer is no. Thank you.
SW: Do you ever feel lonely in the limelight?
dm: Unfortunately, I don’t have time to go to nightclubs when I am on tour.
SW: To whom do you look for inspiration?
dm: It is more what I look to for inspiration than who. Look at nightstands, for example. They are strong. They hold our TV Guides and Almond Roca foils 24/7/4/12/365, without ever talking back or leaving to go to the bathroom. And they guard you while you sleep. Silent sentries.
SW: Whose greatest hits do you listen to most often?
DM: Well, lately I’ve been into reading books on tape. I love the Bible. I mean, what could surpass God’s Greatest Hits? Like when Jesus was emulsifying his feet in the river and eating Jordan Almonds. And when he suckled on the lamb. And when Peter begat Paul. Also, Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs on tape is a real page-turner.
SW: If you were allowed to put just one example of your art into a time capsule and send it out into space for other worlds to discover, what would it be?
dm: I would have to say “The Sad Clown,” by Red Skelton. It speaks gallons.
