Have you spent your life waiting for an eating competition that involves musically talented, heavily bearded men ferociously wolfing down pastries filled with sticky, white cream? Of course you have. And tonight, hirsute rockers Matt Badger (of Ravenna Woods) and Andrew Chapman (of The Keeper)—joined by one lucky Seattle Weekly reader—will go mouth to mouth in the first-ever Beard Papa’s Cream Puff Munch-Off, presented by our Voracious food blog. Whoever eats the most puffs within the three minutes will win a gift certificate to Best of Seattle™ champ Gray’s Barber Lounge and a $50 gift certificate to Beard Papa’s. Those rooting them on will gain a lifetime of memories, made even more indelible by the Hen’s cheap, stiff drinks and pan-Asian (by way of Texas) cuisine. MIKE SEELY

Thu., Sept. 23, 6:30 p.m., 2010