Larry Doyle’s comic coming-of-age novel I Love You, Beth Cooper has been adapted to film. Here’s what our Scott Foundas thinks of the picture:Did erstwhile John Hughes protege and Harry Potter progenitor Chris Columbus fall behind on his payments on a sub-prime mortgage? Or have to pony up for an emergency organ transplant? Even if so, I’m not sure it fully excuses this joyless, offensively stupid end-of-high-school farce, set into motion when nerdy valedictorian Dennis Cooverman (Paul Rust) uses his commencement address to profess his unrequited love for the titular cheerleading goddess (Hayden Panettiere). Complications ensue as the numinous Ms. Cooper pays a grad-night visit chez Cooverman with two gal pals in tow and a coked-up Army brat boyfriend (Shawn Roberts) in hot pursuit. Cue the listless succession of house trashings, party crashings, realizations that beautiful people can be insecure, too, and enough reckless driving to result in a double-digit body count–fitting for a movie that’s about as funny as a hit-and-run. At least Columbus and writer Larry Doyle are up-front about their inspirations, giving Dennis a film-geek BFF (Jack T. Carpenter) who name-checks Risky Business and a dad played by none other than Ferris Bueller wingman Alan Ruck. But why no love for Columbus’ own 1987 debut feature, Adventures in Babysitting, which went through these same one-wild-night paces with real ingenuity and pizzazz–and less need to persistently debase its characters? “This isn’t fun anymore,” says the wise young Cooverman after his third or fourth near-death experience. “Who says it’s supposed to be fun?” replies his unattainable lady love. Exactly. (Rated PG-13, 101 minutes, opens at Meridian and other theaters) SCOTT FOUNDASMake the jump for Blood: the Last Vampire….Blood: The Last VampireThe studios continue to dilute the meaning of “Asia Extreme,” and self-serious commercial pap like this Westernized fraud makes Dragonball: Evolution seem like high art. Korean actress Gianna Jun (formerly Jeon Ji-hyun, star of My Sassy Girl) is given little to do beyond titillating fanboys. She plays a 400-year-old Japanese half-vampire who works with a covert council to hunt other bloodsuckers in her ageless form as an undercover schoolgirl. But as enticing as “Blade meets 21 Jump Street” might sound, Kiss of the Dragon hack Chris Nahon’s live-action adaptation of a 2001 cult anime film is unexciting, incoherent, lamely acted, and carelessly written (set during the Vietnam war, its attempt to add historical nuance is, “I can’t believe they’d let a Jap enroll here”), and even its F/X mish-mash is an eyesore. Slick wire-fu spectacles come courtesy of a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon producer, while the incongruously clunky monsters are Ray Harryhausen throwbacks, and the movie’s incessant, cheaply produced CGI splatters look like oil geysers. There will be blood, yes, because you, too, will be ready to fall on your samurai sword. (Ratted R, 89 minutes, opens at Pacific Place and Varsity) AARON HILLIS