Bike Rage Equals Page Views!: All the cool kids need hip slang to deride those who aren’t as superior as them, but you’re supposed to keep that stuff private, you know? Like a secret handshake. Otherwise the rubes might get the idea that… well, you consider them just contemptible rubes. And then what does that mean for the ‘can’t we all live in harmony’ stuff? – Submitted by lurker

Why Are You at a Bar at 10 O’Clock in the Morning!!!: Why would you advertise a place for people to drink at 7 am? That is encouraging alcoholism, as no normal drinker is drinking at that time of the morning.Very irresponsible. – Submitted by S Turner

At Last: Robert Novak in the Daily Weekly!: Whoever wrote this is a SERIOUSLY sick person … you have NO idea what this family is in for …and I really hope you regret actually articulating these disgusting thoughts! – Submitted by grace

What Dad Won’t Tell You About Keeping a Beard: John, you’re column always teaches me something new. I’ve always thought you had an unbelievably gorgeous beard. But today I learned that even the very mention of your beard turned me on. Way to work it. – Submitted by Veronica Mars

Bike Rage Equals Page Views!: All the cool kids need hip slang to deride those who aren’t as superior as them, but you’re supposed to keep that stuff private, you know? Like a secret handshake. Otherwise the rubes might get the idea that… well, you consider them just contemptible rubes. And then what does that mean for the ‘can’t we all live in harmony’ stuff? – Submitted by lurker

Check Your Faux Service Dog at the Door: It is a shame that ignorance does not have a literal grasp of reality or the issues pertaining to our beloved canines that work in the service industry, as therapy dogs, law dogs (search and rescue, bomb detection, etc, etc) or even just being man (or womans) best friend. It seems that Taft is blinded by her hatred of dogs, specifically pit bulls, and fails to see that all dogs are wonderful in the right hands, just as any dog can become aggressive in the wrong hands. I wonder if Ms. Taft would be so opposed to pit bulls if she was in a situation where one was required to save her life. Fortunately for her pit bulls do not judge, but except all people as they are, whether they are decent or not. That seems to be their strength and her weakness. – Submitted by concerned dog lover

Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, answers questions during a news conference in Anchorage, Alaska, Wednesday, April 12, 2006. (AP Photo/Al Grillo)

Top Dough Nut: Top Pot glazed old fashioned doughnuts, purchased at their stores, are the best by any measure; appearance, weight, texture, sweetness, casing, volume, color, moisture, gastronomy, tactile, olfactory, balance between elasticity and separation, sensation, adhesion during dunking, satisfaction, guilt to added weight ratio. Eat one and you will be enveloped in an ambient cloud of fecundity. – Submitted by tom kornelis

Don’t Trade Jarrod Washburn! (Or If You Do, Get A Lot For Him): THANK YOU DAMON! I can’t believe we’re putting this guy on the block when next year we’re going to be contenders again! We’re just having a lot of bad luck this year. Washburn with his amazing split-finger will give the M’s one of the best 1-3 starters in all of baseball.. He’s just begun showing the world what he is capable of now. – Submitted by Patton Richard