It must be tough recruiting for the Army these days. Numbers are down. This year, Washington state recruiters fulfilled 80 percent of their quota despite a nation-wide $200 million advertising budget. The Army can’t seem to figure out why. They offer up to $40,000 in signing bonuses and a free ride to college. The normal response: Duh stupid, we’re in a war. You might get killed. But the truth is, I can’t figure out why the Army’s struggling either. They’ve relaxed their standards enough. Waivers are allowing recruits to enlist at the ripe old age of 42, have ADHD, a criminal record, prior drug use, counseling or asthma. So, if the requisite waivers are granted, I could technically still fight for my country if I’m over the hill, unable to pay attention, fresh out of the can, smoking dope, in marriage counseling and sucking wind. As long as I’ve graduated from high school and passed the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (It ain’t rocket science) and a physical — I should be ok. That, my friends, is being all I can be, or an Army of one, or whatever — even if it isn’t much.