Now that bus-specific monthly passes have finally yielded the right of way,

Published 7:00 am Thursday, June 24, 2010

Now that bus-specific monthly passes have finally yielded the right of way, night and day, to ultra-versatile Orca cards, surely such a passing of the baton can only be accompanied by news that the Orca cards have gotten more efficient and reliable, right?Wrong! In fact, Orca cards are still such a hit-or-miss fiasco that area whales are considering a class action lawsuit bent on getting the name of the card changed to “Orcan’t.”In the day of instant, computerized transactions, can you think of one good reason why it should take 24-48 hours for funds deposited in one’s Orca account to be available for usage? I can’t either, and yet that remains the status quo–if you’re lucky. More often than not, the Orca experience is an odyssey, as two recent email exchanges with King County’s Orca service desk–aka “Leadagent, Business”–forwarded to us by a customer (who requested anonymity) once again proved.Exchange #1Customer: “My order said it was completed last Thursday [Eds: This exchange was initiated on the pursuant Tuesday], but none of the cards I loaded seem to be working today. Why?”Orca rep: “…It could be because not all of the information has migrated through the system allowing activation of the passes on them yet. Or they could have encountered faulty fare readers. They should keep tapping the cards at fare readers and they will likely start working properly.”Great. Thanks. Just fuckin’ tap away until they work–that sounds like the sort of advice a kind-hearted construction foreman gives a developmentally disabled hammer swinger during his first day on the job. And this is supposed to be a 21st century solution? But sometimes even steadfast tappin’ won’t suffice. Por ejemplo….Exchange #2Customer: “One of my cards isn’t working anymore. How do I get it working again? I went to customer service…, and the guy told me he couldn’t help me because it’s a business issued card…I tapped it twice yesterday and it wouldn’t work for this morning’s tap either.”Orca rep: “Sometimes that happens…Cards are sensitive creatures. We don’t recommend keeping [them] in wallets, sitting on, bending at all (fine antenna around entire perimeter of card). If you believe it is defective, you can purchase a replacement, send it to us…with a note requesting we examine and if found defective we send you an empty card to use as a future replacement.”Customer: “How do I assign the pass that was loaded onto this card onto a card that isn’t damaged?”Orca rep: “…You can’t do it, we have to. You have given us the card numbers, we will start the transaction today. It takes 24-48 hours for the data to be available at the ORCA reader (unless it is e-purse, then 8-10 days) and you must tap the card after that time to transfer the data. Fare payment will be expected until that time.”Customer: “But I already paid for the pass; why do I have to pay my fare if I bought the pass? I haven’t been hammering my card or doing anything with it that I wouldn’t do with the card key that I use to get into my office. I paid my money for the whole month; I don’t understand why I have to pay to ride the bus. I already paid you for that.”Orca rep: “I understand. I cannot guarantee the driver will not request fare. I t will take 24-48 hours before your new card works. Your old card does not work and is permanently disabled in the system.”Anyone willing to set the over-under on how many days (hours?) it will be before–poof!–a Facebook petition or ballot initiative is launched to try and bring back the old bus passes? And are humans eligible to join the whales’ class action lawsuit–ones that can swim, anyway? Enough is enough.