The place: Jade, 8904 Aurora Ave. N., 233-9133The drink: Busch beer.The bartender:

Published 7:00 am Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The place: Jade, 8904 Aurora Ave. N., 233-9133The drink: Busch beer.The bartender: A big guy with a bluetooth in his ear who only poured drinks because the real bartender wasn’t on duty.The tale: I have to admit, I walked into Jade, one of the most mysterious new establishments on North Seattle’s most notorious/mysterious thoroughfare, hoping that they’d make a Singapore Sling that’d knock me on my ass. But the bartender wasn’t working, so I was instructed to either order a shot or a beer. I opted for beer (Busch), but the guy next to me was downing SoCo shots like the world was going to end about 30 seconds after he finished the last one. This gentleman, from Alaska, remarked that SoCo was not just a shot to the head, but “a shot of home.” I think I like Alaska. Aside from the pioneering Cuban food truck Paladar, the corner of 90th and Aurora is not a hotbed of human productivity. There are hookers in the vicinity, and there’s a Taco Bell. But that unseemly rep certainly makes the businesses that dare to occupy the space near that corner a source of much curiosity, and the fact that the interior of Jade is unable to be viewed by passersby does nothing to dissuade such an attitude.Inside, the restaurant-lounge is surprisingly cavernous and clubby, with red paper party bulbs hanging from the ceiling, a dance floor, turntables, a slate of pool tables, and a sizable balcony. It’s the sort of place Tony Montana would probably party in if he weren’t so concerned with moving coke by the truckload and just wanted to hang loose for a night with like-minded souls.By the end of my beer, it dawned on me that restricting customers to either a shot or a beer actually results in my personal version of the perfect bar. Either step on the gas or ride the breaks — none of the treacherous in-between that froofy mixed drinks imply.