“Fly-by Sky Fry” says The Register! Ready in just five minutes! Puncture

Published 7:00 am Monday, May 18, 2009

“Fly-by Sky Fry” says The Register! Ready in just five minutes! Puncture plastic wrap before launching! Beating out industry titans Stouffer’s, Hungry Man, and HealthyChoice, Boeing has announced that it is building the prototype microwave-pulsed robo-missile, or, as it tells The Register, a “high power microwave (HPM) airborne demonstrator.””HPM is truly a game-changing technology and we are proud to play a role in its transition to the warfighter,” says Keith Coleman of Boeing’s “Phantom Works” group. The technology is supposed to “provide a revolutionary, nonlethal system, allowing the military to neutralize specific targets while minimizing or eliminating collateral damage.” With a quick pulse, says Boeing, the weapon would disable enemy electronic and communication systems–something previously possible only with nuclear weapons. As a bonus, it will cook any stray pizza pockets in the area and also swell marshmallows to awesomely puffy proportions. Despite the weapon’s non-lethal nature, prospective targets are encouraged to avoid wearing tin foil.