News Clips— Prominent/Decadent
Published 7:00 am Monday, October 9, 2006
| PROMINENT | DECADENT |
|---|---|
| Good news for alleged bank robber Aristotle Marr. Court officials have not only accepted the $500,000 in bail money from his unnamed donor, they’ve also managed to defuse the exploding dye pack. | King County cop John Vanderwalker may sue over his dismissal for WTO week misconduct. He apparently bruised his toe kicking a first-aid worker and suffered mental anguish from the screams of two women he unjustly pepper-sprayed. |
| Supreme Court Chief Justices from 50 states loved their recent Seattle conference. Not only did they enjoy a midnight fireworks display, but none of the folks they woke up has the guts to sue. | Four Canadian citizens were nabbed by park rangers while hiking toward Canada with 44 pounds of cocaine. Not only do they face life imprisonment, but the low-speed foot chase trashed the value of the movie rights. |
| The Fraternal Order of Eagles won a surprise court victory affirming their right to remain an all-male organization. Area females will now have to find alternate venues where they can drink excessively, tell dirty jokes, and slip into senility. | The Seattle Mariners dropped a 12-run lead and lost to the Cleveland Indians in extra innings. On the bright side, it’s this year’s first team-related event not to be commemorated on $30 T-shirts. |
