The Place: Linda's Tavern, 707 East Pine St., 325-1220, CAPITOL HILL
Hours: Sat-Sun, 10 am - 3pm for brunch, regular menu till 2 am
Uptown, Downtown or Down Home:Giddy up, hicksters! Downtown takes on down home with "Western" fare served in portions plentiful enough to make you pop a button.
Bubbles, Bloodies or Black Coffee: All three. The coffee is Stumptown and served with fresh cream. The Bloodies are the most popular menu item according to the staff, but if you like yours spicy you will need to add your own tabletop Tabasco. The Mimosas here are impressive not for the quality (it's Cooks) but for the quantity, as they are served by the mutha'f'n pitcher ($20).
Hungover, Hooked-Up or Hanging with the Family: This is the place to go when you have bagged a conquest that is much hotter than you are, as Linda's is a spot to see and be seen- even at 11 am. It is also a great place to hand over two bucks and test run a perspective hook-ups taste, as the jukebox is broad. There is bar seating and wi-fi for solo diners. You can take a kid here for brunch, but expect other diners to roll their eyes at you for doing so. This is a joint where tales from the previous evening are told and they usually aren't PG.
What's Cooking: Generously sized breakfasts, all of which come in at under $11. The Rio Grande Omelet (bacon, avocado, tomato and cheddar served with hash browns and toast -$8.50) was not spectacular -it requires a side of salsa -but satisfying. The breakfast tacos are not "Austin style" tiny-bites-of-heaven, but as big as your head, a fold away from being a burrito and come in four varieties: Cowboy (eggs and chicken sausage), Nowboy (tofu, veggie sausage), Cowgirl (eggs and veggie sausage) plus fixins' all for $ 8.25 and Texas (eggs, chicken sausage and chili) for $8.95, making for some fairly priced, hearty grub when you need to wrangle in your hangover.