You know you want one!
Hey fellow lushes! How do you like my new wine helmet? Yeah, OK, that's not me, but that rascal Zach Galifianakis. (Who was in SEA all-too-briefly on Thursday.) Still, that clever pickled grape juice dispenser is on the top of my wanna-have gadget wish list. Because, you know, wine's not just a delicious beverage that's amazing to drink with the foods you love.
You know you want one!
Wine is a lifeSTYLE, which requires the acquiring of all sorts of accoutrements. And I'm not even including the various shapes of wine glasses designed to deliver the maximum flavor explosion to your ever-so-refined palate.
Actually, there's a wine glass I've got to add to the lust wish list. Maybe you've even seen the Redneck wine glass, aka a Ball canning jar on top of a stem? Classy with a capital K.
But lemme tell you why I'd love to have a set. They look as sturdy as my Aunt Ida's support hose. Over the course of my red-wine-stained drinking career, I think I've probably broken at least 432 pieces of stemware, mostly not on purpose. The Redneck could be the last wine glass I'd ever need to buy.
And when you pour your red, white or pink into that Redneck, you'll want to whip out that Vinturi wine aerator, right? This is a gizmo that has cast hundreds of wine stewards out of jobs, as they're no longer needed to dramatically decant wines so they can "breathe." The other day, I was out for happy hour with Voracious superstar Julien Perry and we looked on enviously as a couple sitting at nearby table set their Vinturi out on the table so the server could pour the wine through it, unleashing its full potential.
The Wino might pine for one of those elaborate storage systems, but there's rarely leftovers at my pad.
Regular readers know I'm a huge fan of screwtops, but when there's a cork to pull, this dork longs to reach for The Rabbit, the grooviest corkscrew since the Swiss Army Knife. It's not even about screwing, just a quick-like-a-bunny plunge and a pull and pour away.
It might be gimmicky, but doggone it, I want a Corkscicle. It's like a dagger of chillyness you stick into a bottle to ice it lickety split. Which is certainly preferable to sticking a bottle in the freezer and then forgetting about it until it's nearly solid. Hey, wait. Wine Slushees for everybody!!
Why not try that quick chill method on a bottle of Famega Vinho Verde, a lean white from Portugal? I'm a sucker for the blue bottle and the zippy, refreshing wine inside. It's on sale for $6 at Met Market. Please pour me some in my new Redneck wine glass!