We took our tastebuds (sorry, tastebuds!) on a culinary adventure of a different kind this week: sex shops. In the grand scheme of food, sex-shop


Top 5 Sex-Shop Edible Erotica

We took our tastebuds (sorry, tastebuds!) on a culinary adventure of a different kind this week: sex shops. In the grand scheme of food, sex-shop eats barely register, but we wanted to know what the best tasting, least offensive products are. Turns out, flavored lube and chocolate body paint are the real flavor showstoppers at five sex shops we visited. Before you even say the words Erotic Bakery, well, that's just cheating--unless you're the dude at Dog House Leathers who suggested we skip his store and go buy ourselves a shiny new cake to smear all over ourselves.

Sex shops aren't exactly where you'll end up when you get a snack attack, but hey, if you want to spend your money buying expensive lube and other erotic playthings, why not buy something that tastes good?

Here's our list of the Top 5 sex-shop edibles:

5. Candy Garter ($12.95)

Fantasy Unltd.

2027 Westlake Ave., 622-4669

You can't go wrong with a candy necklace strapped to your leg. In fact, go save yourself a wad by doing just that. This isn't the best candy on the market (just like the candy necklace), but it's a safe bet, since you already probably know what it tastes like: crunchy sugar. Plus, if you're worried about embarrassment, nobody is going to laugh at you when you walk out of the store carrying a box of candy leg beads. Actually, never mind. There's also a candy bra and some underwear if you really are the world's worst romantic and want to combine the candy and lingerie tokens of appreciation.

4. Honey Dust ($15.95)


119 S.W. 148th St., 246-9393

Flavored powder you dust all over your body. Pretty harmless stuff. There are different flavors, including honeysuckle and chocolate raspberry. We chose strawberry because it came highly recommended by the lady working at the shop. The flavor is very subtle, and even though it's berry-flavored and comes in a silky pouch with a feather duster, it's nothing like the Victoria's Secret body sprays and lotions that stain your skin with the smell of fruity stickiness. This powder simply gives a hint of sweetness to whomever gets to kiss you. Just make sure you apply this powder in private. It's a bit messy, and we don't want people to think you have a serious exotic pink coke problem.

3. Lickable Oil ($5-$10)


707 E. Pike St., 328-2914

If you're new to sex shops, head to Babeland. It's a classy joint with higher-end products and a staff comprising only people who have tried everything they sell, so they are great for recommendations. It's like the Madison Market of sex shops. The lickable oil comes in several flavors, including dulce de leche, pomegranate vanilla, and mojito peppermint. We chose the latter. It's not quite as refreshing as popping a piece of gum in your mouth, but the flavor is really nice--not intensely sweet.

2. Chocolate Body Fondue ($15.99)

Castle Megastore

206 Broadway E., 204-0126

This is basically a dessert topping. The ingredients are water, sugar, Dutch cocoa, nonfat milk, and some stabilizers. The flavor is quite delicious. Not sure we'd want to put this on our skin, as nothing is less sexy than the scent of a dried chocolate/saliva concoction, but if your local supermarket is closed and you need an ice-cream topping now, buy this. And when your friends ask why you have an empty container that says Booty Parlor on it . . . you're on your own.

1. Sliquid Swirl Lube ($14)


707 E. Pike St., 328-2914

This lube is one of the store's biggest sellers. It's sweetened with aspartame instead of sugar to prevent infection, and it's 100 percent vegan-friendly, not that that makes it taste better. What does make it taste good is the subtlety of the flavor, which is where Babeland products excel. Sliquid, while not the sexiest name, comes in pink lemonade, strawberry pomegranate, and green apple flavors. Pink lemonade was the staff pick, but we chose the green apple. The flavor is reminiscent of a Jolly Rancher, but just tart enough to get you salivating.

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