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The Unicorn , 1118 E. Pike St., 325-6492 .

Hours: Weekends starting at 11 a.m.

Uptown, Downtown, or Down Home: The Unicorn is very downtown

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The Unicorn's Brunch Is Affordable, Satisfying, and Just a Little Racist

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The Unicorn, 1118 E. Pike St., 325-6492.

Hours: Weekends starting at 11 a.m.

Uptown, Downtown, or Down Home: The Unicorn is very downtown with internationally inspired Benedict variations for around $10, a bowl of magically delicious Lucky Charms for $2.50, and a red beer (Rolling Rock and tomato juice) for $2.50 more. They are conscious of their price points, and offer fare that lets even your most-broke friends join you for brunch.

Bubbles, Bloodies, or Black Coffee: This joint offers all three. Basic Bloody Marys and mimosas are five bucks apiece. Fancier, fluffier versions of brunchy drinks like a Knifey Bellini (whipped vodka, peach schnapps, bubbles, fresh-squeezed OJ) or a Fantasy Island (Aperol, St. Germaine, fresh-squeezed OJ, a squeeze of lime, bubbles) are available for $9.

Hungover, Hooked Up, or Hanging With the Family: Good for anyone who may be regretting their actions the night before, the dark bar vibe dominates the Unicorn even at noon, making it a prime spot for an awkward post-hookup breakfast while providing just enough grease to cater to the hungover. The music is loud (cheesy speed metal on my visit) and fills the room. You'll seat yourself, order from the bartender, and refill your coffee from a carafe on the bar, making it perfect for a post-Capitol Hill bender, whereas perky waitstaff would make you postal. And of course, as it is a bar, you will find it blissfully kid-free. They do not have wifi, however, so if you're planning to stumble in solo, bring something to read.

What's Cooking: I thoroughly enjoyed my Eggs Morocco. I wasn't expecting perfectly poached eggs at the Unicorn, but they were, and the harissa hollandaise that topped them was delicious. The home fries were well-executed too--crunchy on the outside and fluffy in the middle.

Things at the Unicorn got a little weird when I spotted chicken and waffles on the menu, which is not at all unusual in Seattle, as several spots in town serve this sinfully Southern treat. It was the first time, however, I'd seen it paired with a suggested cocktail: the not-so-creatively named Thug Passion, consisting of Alize and bubbles.

Now if they offered the Breakfast Poutine (sausage gravy, Swiss cheese, and two poached eggs over house-cut french fries $10) with a "Dumb Canuck" (Canadian whiskey and a Hamm's back), or their chorizo hash (local handmade Spanish chorizo, sautéed bell peppers, jalapenos, onions, and potatoes topped with a "dollop of daisy" and two eggs any style, for $9.50) with their own Satanicorn (a shot of tequila dropped into a bloody beer with a salted rim $7), maybe you could pass these off as "humorous" regional pairings.

As it stands, it feels just a bit short of a suggestion to pair chicken and waffles with watermelon and grape Kool-Aid. But I'm going to give the folks at the Unicorn the benefit of the doubt, and assume that this is just a poorly executed joke.

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