"Gulab Jamun" Is How You Say Holey Shit! in Hindi

Paneer tikka masala and gulab jamun makes for a heart attack, India-style.
The Place: Maharaja Cuisine of India, 4542 California Ave. S.W., 935-9443, WEST SEATTLE.

The Hole: What with Dunkin' Donuts and most buddy-cop movies, it's easy to think of the donut as an American dessert. But really, any culture that cooks with animals (thereby producing dripping fat) or vegetable oils is deep-fryer capable.

India is no exception, and has its own version of rolled-up dough deep-fried and served with a cavity-inducing sweet sauce: gulab jamun.

The Shit: According to all-knowing Wikipedia, "gulab" means rosewater and "jamun" is a small south Asian fruit.

The gulab refers to the sweet sauce that covers the pastry. And I can only assume jamun is a reference to the size, because there is nothing else fruit-like, or even remotely healthy, about the dessert itself.

If you happened to watch the Food Network Challenge's donut episode (starring Mighty O and Top Pot), you would have caught the judge's scathing critique of donuts they found to be too oily.

This is not a concern with gulab jamun. The interior of the fried dough is soaked with oil. Between that and the sauce, the pastry almost has the quality of a dumpling--a drool-inducing, rosewater-scented, sugary dumpling.

Apparently it's common in the warmer months to serve gulab jamun with ice cream, thereby creating both a spectacular dessert and ensuring you hit full diabetic coma by the last sweet bite.

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