rose_v_megan.jpg
Rose Huntington-Whitley vs. Megan Fox.
The Dinner: Truffle fries, washed down with several rum and diet Cokes at iPic Theatres , 16451 N.E. 74th St.,

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Megan Fox or Rosie Huntington-Whitley? It Doesn't Matter in Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

rose_v_megan.jpg
Rose Huntington-Whitley vs. Megan Fox.
The Dinner: Truffle fries, washed down with several rum and diet Cokes at iPic Theatres, 16451 N.E. 74th St., Redmond.

The Movie: Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon at the same venue

The Screenplate: An enormous buzz surrounded the third installment in the Transformers series--namely because Megan Fox, who made the first two movies so sexy, was fired before it began filming. For those who manage to avoid Hollywood gossip when surfing the Internet, the drama went down like this:

Director Michael Bay is known for being brash when giving orders; Fox felt demeaned and called him a "Nazi"; then producer Spielberg (who, oops, happens to be Jewish) told Bay to give the namecaller the boot. Bay--who directs many of the Victoria's Secret commercials--hired VS model Rose Huntington-Whitley to replace Fox. Fans went wild debating who made a better Transformers girl, while everybody else wondered how a schmuck like Shia LaBeouf got so lucky, and why actors John Malkovich and Frances McDormand would take on small, rather forgettable roles in a a movie like this.

But the truth is, it's unnecessary to get snarky about Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon. It knows exactly what it is, and embraces it. Bay knows that people who watch the movie want something much like its predecessors, crammed with outrageous action sequences, explosions, and robots. And so he gives 'em just that. The premise: A super spaceship is discovered on the moon and the Autobots (the good guys) must get to it before the Decepticons (the bad guys) in order to prevent anarchy and the end of the human race. The departure of Fox's character Mikaela is never really explained; LaBoeuf's Sam simply has a new girlfriend with a British accent named Carly, and that's that. But that's OK. The role of the girl in a movie like this is simply to look good. No explanation necessary.

Like Transformers, iPic Theatres knows its excessive and runs with it. The 21-and-over establishment features reserved seating in massive reclining chairs, with blankets and pillows available upon request. Attendees receive a menu with food and drinks before the start of a movie, and order from the server. The bathrooms look like miniature dance clubs, and the lounge features leather seating and two full bars. It's the sort of place Bay might put his characters in to converse for a few minutes, before blowing it to smithereens. And chances are, just like his films, it would be ridiculous, but also entertaining as hell to watch. Sometimes more is more.

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