Julien v. Food is not just a blatant rip-off of Man v. Food; it's also a regular column in which Voracious contributor Julien Perry tries


Julien v. Food: 7-Alarm Wing Challenge

Julien v. Food is not just a blatant rip-off of Man v. Food; it's also a regular column in which Voracious contributor Julien Perry tries to eat enormous amounts of junk by taking on the city's eating challenges so you can be equally grossed out and visually assaulted at the same time. What she lacks in girth, she makes up for in appetite.

Photo by Stephen Giang
Me during happier times.
Location: Wing Dome, 4523 California Ave. S.W., 932-9465, WEST SEATTLE.

Weigh-In: I don't know how much the seven hot wings weighed, but I'm guessing the thick gravy-like sauce they were swimming in weighed more. My stats? The usual: 5'4" and 110 pounds.

The Challenge: As the waiver they make you sign will tell you, no napkins, cold drinks, or anything that will remotely make this a pleasant experience are allowed at the table during the challenge, which involves downing seven habanero-soaked chicken wings in seven minutes. Last December, I participated in the 7-Alarm Challenge for Charity at the West Seattle Wing Dome (that's me on the left), which required a panel of local media types to chow down on a plate filled with wings in ascending order of hotness. Once you got to the 7-alarm wings, the goal was to eat as many as you could before calling in a "Wing Man" to help carry the torch. Mine at the time was my now ex-boyfriend. I ate three hot wings with little burn. He ate about 16. No joke. We still somehow managed to lose to KING 5's Jesse Jones, who ate 12 all by himself. Seven months later (irony!), I decided I'd give the challenge its proper due, because if my ex could eat 16, I certainly could consume seven--if for no other reason because I wanted to pin a photo of my face over his face on the Wall of Flame. Oh, and also because Wing Dome's 7-Alarm Wing Challenge is the focus of tomorrow's episode of Heat Seekers on the Food Network.

Watch the video after the jump!

Difficulty: This was by far the most difficult challenge I've encountered--and I ate the 12-egg omelet at Beth's! The reason this challenge was so painful can be summed up in one dry-heave: sauce. The goddamn sauce on these wings was not only lukewarm, it was thick like gravy. Having to sop up all of the sauce in record time was a lesson in gag reflexology that I never want to experience again. After my seven minutes in heaven were up, I ran to the bathroom to wash my hands and had to stay put for a while because I thought I was going to be sick. All of that intense heat in my stomach resulted in a nausea similar to that of taking aspirin on an empty stomach. I was pregnant with a fireball of fury for hours. The only solace was the free ice-cream sandwich they give you after the challenge, win or lose. But even after eating that, I was too sick to drink my beer, and anyone who knows me realizes how sick I must have been.

The Champ: Because I only ate about six wings, the wings won, technically. But I fancy myself the real winner in this challenge for 1) not getting a lick of sauce on my face and 2) putting many push pins through my ex's on the Wall of Flame. Yeah, it was a pretty lame move, but it was the only burn I wasn't on the receiving end of that day.

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