Green Lantern_Ryan and Siiri_web.jpg
Blake Lively's no dog, but let's be honest, I look much better standing next to Ryan, no?
The Dinner: Jumbo crunchy chop salad with fried


Green (Lantern) With Envy for Blake Lively's Job

Green Lantern_Ryan and Siiri_web.jpg
Blake Lively's no dog, but let's be honest, I look much better standing next to Ryan, no?
The Dinner: Jumbo crunchy chop salad with fried onion strings, seared ahi tuna, and Mendocino Fog chardonnay at Ruth's Chris Steak House in Bellevue Square, (855 106th Ave. N.E.).

The Movie: Green Lantern in Real D 3D, Lincoln Square Cinemas, (700 Bellevue Way N.E.).

The Screenplate: For the second installment of Ryan Reynolds: An (Un)healthy Obsession, an evening overflowing with beefiness was mandatory. (To see the first installment, reference the sexiest death scene ever from last November here.) And so, prior to getting a visual high of green-clad extreme muscles and an earful of snorting middle-aged nerds, there was a short sit-down dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

In an ideal world, we would have shown up to Ruth's Chris during happy hour and taken advantage of the numerous cheap eats that soak up the three post-work drinks consumed to wash off that final conference call and get in the mood for a little shameless eye candy. Clearly we don't live in an ideal world--otherwise I'd be starring as Carol Ferris and Blake Lively would be serving me my meal at Ruth's Chris--so instead we chugged a glass of wine and split a few dishes before getting into full Real D 3D mode.

There are two ways to watch Green Lantern: the traditional big screen, and then "Real D 3D." I don't know how "Real D 3D" differs from traditional 3-D, but to be fair, I haven't seen anything in 3-D since Jurassic Park. If you're a comic-book geek of yesteryear, see it in 3-D. If you're a red-blooded woman and haven't been living under a rock for the past 10 years, then see it in 3-D. Basically there's no reason to see this movie in a regular theater. So what does the "Real D" stand for? Good question. The answer was revealed in what will now forever be the absolute best moment in the movie.

About 20 minutes into the plot, Reynolds is unconsciously transported to another planet via energy field where he's stripped down to his white boxer briefs. The camera does a 360-degree shot of him laying on his back and then zooms up to his face, starting at his feet. This results in the inevitable crotch shot heard round the world, thus defining just exactly what "Real D 3D" means. It was basically like getting to third base.

The plot pretty much climaxes there for anyone who has not read the comic book before. For die-hards and first-timers alike, the remaining 80 minutes is filled with a predictable roller coaster of good versus evil and a side dish of Blake Lively attempting to play a brunette and engage in PG make-out sessions. Even watching some other woman claw all over Reynolds is tolerable considering he spends 90% of the film in a green second-skin onesie.

Much like the overabundance of muscle and sinew showing through Ryan's leotard, the seared ahi tuna at Ruth's Chris was rare, meaty, and served with special sauce. The firm crust of each slice was not unlike Reynolds' character, Hal Jordan, whose rock-solid physical and mental traits are a good cover for his soft, melt-in-your-mouth heart and underlying vulnerability. The chop salad, on the other hand, more closely resembles the ice-cold likes of Carol Ferris (Lively), who cuts Jordan to bits as his flight partner and boss. Covering the salad (and Lively) in any dressing, be it clothes, brown hair, or ranch dressing, is a welcome sight for women over 25.

Although the meal was rushed, the service and quality at Ruth's Chris was everything you expect of a top-notch steak house. The seafood and produce was remarkably fresh, and the server was prompt, and as a woman obviously understood the need to rush in the name of a virtual booty call with the Sexiest Man Alive. While the movie was completely predictable even if you've never cracked a vintage cover of the DC classic, the action sequences placate every generation of man-child from here to the guardian planet Oa, especially when it's all flying overhead in 3-D.

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