The Rapture's coming this weekend, and there's nothing heathens can do about it--at least according to Family Radio president Harold Camping, who issued the prediction that seven billion nonbelievers worldwide will perish.
But those who aren't destined to survive Judgment Day can choose what they'd like to be eating when the earthquake strikes at 6 p.m. (Although seeing how it's a Saturday night, reservations might be in order.) We polled our contributors to find out where they'd most like to dine on devastation day. Read on for their responses.
Eve Tai: The Pink Door
Give me my rapture at The Pink Door patio on a sunny day (although, at this rate, May 21 could be cloudy), stuffed silly with penne, pecorino, prosciutto, and Pinot Grigio and those gorgeous views of the Olympics and Elliot Bay.
Sarah Lloyd: The Nite Lite
There will be no repercussions (at least, none that I wouldn't already have coming) for the plate of cheese fries, nor the sheer quantity of $2.75 wells I'll be drinking to prepare myself.
Keegan Hamilton: Dick's Drive In
If the world is ending, I won't feel guilty about the damage to my arteries and expanding waistline, plus a quick meal means I can spend my precious pre-apocalypse time checking as many items as possible off my bucket list.
Laura Onstot: McDonald's
If I had to pick just one restaurant, probably How to Cook a Wolf, since every time I've eaten there I've experienced multiple mouthgasms. (Still hate the name, though.)
But if I'm brutally, brutally honest with myself, the apocalypse probably finds me sitting in a McDonald's with a tray full of filet-o-fishes. I love those little fuckers so much.
Sonja Groset: Salumi
It only seems appropriate to have an over-the-top gluttonous meal to ring in the rapture. At Salumi, I'm always torn between the porchetta sandwich and the oxtail, but--on the eve of the end of the world--fuck it: I'd go all out and have them both. Plus, I'd polish off a couple of bottles of that cheap-ass Montepulciano they serve to wash it all down.
Zibby Wilder: La Rustica
Fill up on wine and lovely Italian food in its dark and cozy confines, and then cross the street for a final walk--and maybe a little something else--on the beach.
Erin Thompson: Icon Grill
I'd be sitting back at a booth at Icon Grill, listening to lounge-y piano music, eating chicken fingers and downing Zephyrtinis from the bar. They're super-sugary and something like $9 a pop, but it's not like I'll be around to pay the bill or deal with the hangover.
Erika Hobart: La Isla
They serve awesome Puerto Rican food and make the meanest mojito in the entire city--going out with a big bang is overrated, a big buzz is much better.
Julien Perry: Canlis
I'd want to go out feeling like a queen, which includes being deliriously drunk on "last meal"-quality food and booze.
Scott Heimendinger: Spur Gastropub
I'll be at Spur Gastropub eating one of everything on the menu. As long as the world is ending, I'd like to fill up on small plates and house-made corn nuts.
If the world's ending, I won't feel guilty about eating as much maguro as possible. With uni on top.
Caleb Hannan: Ray's Boathouse
Not because it has the best food in Seattle (although it does have very good food), but because my childish mind can only imagine the rapture as some sort of tsunami-like event, and Ray's would offer the best view.
Mike Seely: Zeek's Pizza
I'm going to get uncharacteristically cheesy/romantic and say I'd share my last meal with my wife in a room at the Downtown Sheraton. It'd be a Puget Pounder from Zeek's Pizza. That's where we first met--and ate--on New Year's 2004. There were bowl games on then, but given the season of the Rapture, we'd gladly settle for the NBA conference semis (either matchup).
Surly Gourmand: Spring Hill
If the world was ending I would go to Spring Hill and have the bacon cheeseburger. It's an opulent and stupendous half-pound of awe, served medium rare with a droopy caul of melted white cheddar and slabs of thick-ass bacon and finely shredded lettuce. It comes with fries which are actually fried in SUET. It's $19, but what the fuck do I need money for if the world is ending? After washing that monster down with several single malts, I'd rush off to your mom's house to propose to her. When she gets all teary-eyed and says yes and all that, I'd laugh and say "Psych! We're not getting married, the world's about to end any seco--"
Siiri Sampson: Chez Shea
I would sit at the window line watching the world's final sunset over the sound and Olympics while I eat foie gras three ways. I would ask them to feed it to me the same way they feed the ducks they turn into foie gras. And I'd get stinking drunk off the dirtiest gin martini with Tanqueray 10 and blue-cheese-stuffed olives, followed by one of every dessert on the menu.
Hollis Wong-Wear: Charlie's Bar& Grill
I wouldn't have an appetite at all. But I would order a Monte Cristo anyway, and just marvel at it until I lost consciousness. With a Jameson on the rocks.
A.J. Tigner: Tavern Law
I feel like any sinful, post-apocalyptic coalition is probably going to start there, and I don't want to be stuck looting devastated Goodwills like some sucker.
C. Rose Tosti: Shiki
I would go to Shiki Sushi, and order fugu. Not because sushi is my favorite food, but because I'm a chicken and can't bring myself to try fugu, just in case something goes wrong and it actually does kill me. But since this is already my last meal, I'm out of excuses, so . . . might as well!