Courtesy of Crabby Dick's
Have you ever played the board game Dirty Minds, also known as "the world's cleanest dirty game" because those without dirty


America's 10 Most Suggestive Eateries

Courtesy of Crabby Dick's
Have you ever played the board game Dirty Minds, also known as "the world's cleanest dirty game" because those without dirty minds have a better chance at winning?

Here's a quick example:

--What do all men have?

--Some men have it long, some have it short.

--When a man gets married, his wife gets it.

If you said his last name, you are correct! If you answered dick, read on!

Last week Mike Seely ended a post with "Man, haven't you always wanted to eat a sloppy ho? Me neither." Well, for those who do, here is a list of America's 10 most suggestive eateries:

1. Crabby Dick's (Delaware City, Del.)

The restaurant's menu boasts an assortment of balls ranging from Hot Rooster Balls to Corn Balls, a dish described as "A Dozen Nuggets of Battered Sweet Corn to explode in yer mouth." If that doesn't wet your palate, they suggest you "please yourself with our jerk-seasoned grilled chicken breast." This salacious eatery can convert any crabby eater into a state of bliss with an orgasmic selection of choices to choose from. The restaurant has a family-friendly atmosphere as well, so while your children chow down on pasta or chicken wings, you can giggle while ordering your own steaming plate of balls. This eatery truly is "from the land of the pleasant eatin', hon."

2. Dairy Queen (Headquarters in Minneapolis, Minn.)

Dairy Queen welcomes costumers with the phrase "Prepare to slap your taste buds upside the head." While Crabby Dick's clearly enjoys toying with sexual puns, Dairy Queen seems truly unaware of their suggestive innuendos. All the more reason to chuckle at the inadvertent references, such as "Strap on the drool bib" and "Spoon some tempting treats."

3. Fat Ho (Waco, Texas)

Thankfully, you don't have to be fat or a ho to enjoy their delectable delights.

4. Casa Mono (New York, N.Y.)

The restaurant name translated means Monkey House in Spanish; without translation, a communicable disease. The food options are just as adventurous as the name suggests: Quail With Cardoons and Oxtail Stuffed Piquillo Peppers. The restaurant also has almost 600 wines to intoxicate yourself with, so if you're a sole diner, you can find a soul mate in another way: the perfect fusion between food and wine.

5. Pinis Pizzeria (Waltham, Mass.)

For those who pronounce Italian words with an American accent . . .

Courtesy of Pink Taco

6. Pink Taco (Century City, Calif.)

The name of this eatery caused quite a stir upon opening in Arizona. Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross was so bothered by the name, a slang term for vulva, she asked the owner to change it. He didn't. The restaurant closed three years later. The double entendre is subtle enough to zip over the heads of most costumers without dirty minds, while giving everyone else something to chuckle about. Not to mention that this Mexican restaurant has a reputation to uphold, which is (of course) sexy women. At least that's what the image gallery seems to suggest.

7. Dick's (Seattle)


8. In-N-Out Burger (California)

Get your shake on with In-N-Out, which battles Dick's for not only the title of best fast food chain, but the most suggestive eatery as well. They offer some sound advice for customers: "At In-N-Out, we know a French fry is only as good as the potato it comes from," just like a partner is only as good as . . . you get the point.

9. Yum Yum Bangkok (New York, N.Y.)

Say the name aloud ten times! A Thai restaurant with a romantic and intimate ambience. Who knows where the night will end?

10. Doggie Style Hot Dogs (Austin, Texas)

To be frank (yes, I had to), this may not be the place to take someone on your first or even second date, but a third date seems perfectly acceptable.

A closing game for dirty minds.

Anagram this: "Sleeky, Wet Athlete"


The Seattle Weekly.

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