All My Children's Cancelled and Lunch Will Never Be the Same

Susan Lucci.jpg
Susan Lucci's gonna need to drink a whole lot of beers in mourning the death of All My Children.
Rest in peace, Erica Kane.

ABC yanked the plug on All My Children and One Life to Live and trashed my lunch hour. I am outraged! I am going to write a letter to the president of ABC and organize a boycott. Yeah, yeah. But before you condemn me to super-lame-land, let me explain how I got hooked on the soaps.

Erica and I first got acquainted in the TV room at college, where I would eat bagels and swap soap gossip with fellow addicts. This was my very first communal dining experience, and it was a hard habit to break.

After I graduated and went to work, I'd occasionally sneak home or record 'em, but eventually lost interest. Yes, loads of people lost interest, or the shows wouldn't have been canceled.

Yet I somehow got sucked back in a couple of years ago. I blame George Bush. (But then again, I blame him for everything.) When I started working at home, I'd often take a break at noon, fix lunch, and sit down with the dysfunctional gang from Pine Valley.

Go ahead and laugh. Your mocking guffaws will be drowned out by the sound of my sobs. OK, so I exaggerate, but dammit, I'm going to miss the bad sets, the tacky wardrobes, and the bed-hopping. So long, Erica Kane! Lunch just won't be the same without you.

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