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"1) Coffee Robot is always going to be more consistent than its fleshy human counterparts, and when it comes to the difference between a great

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Greatest Hits and What You Missed: Pie, Charlie Sheen, Wieners, Robots, and (More) Pie

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"1) Coffee Robot is always going to be more consistent than its fleshy human counterparts, and when it comes to the difference between a great cup of coffee and the crap I'm generally accustomed to drinking, consistency is about 50% of the battle.

2) Coffee Robot is not going to wait until I get up to the counter after waiting 20 minutes behind a snarl of under-caffeinated yuppies and then suddenly decide it needs a break.

3) Coffee Robot is not going to wait until I get up to the counter after waiting 20 minutes behind a snarl of under-caffeinated yuppies and then suddenly get a text message from its boyfriend that sends it into weeping hysterics.

4) Coffee Robot can probably be programmed to pretend like it cares about the screenplay you've been working on, hunched over your netbook at Roy Street for the past year.

5) Coffee Robot will smell less like cats and patchouli than your average barista."

Just a few of the "11 Reasons Why Starbucks' Replacement of Baristas With Robots Is a Good Idea"

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"Grape Nuts is a national treasure. One of the oldest cereals still being sold, it was "invented" by C.W. Post himself back in 1897. The fact that C.W. Post was totally insane and created the stuff mostly as a way to win his long-standing blood-feud with Dr. John Harvey Kellogg and his enema-loving forces of cultish colon-worshippers notwithstanding, Grape Nuts possesses none of the near-magical powers that Post attributed to it. At various times he claimed it could cure alcoholism, nourish the brain with vital phosphates, rejuvenate the nerves, exercise the teeth and gums (which I guess was probably true), provide grit to those born without, energize the body with potash, prevent headaches, cure stomach flu, and cause women to instantly drop several dress sizes because of its miraculous proteins. The stuff was hokum way back when old C.W. was still hawking Postum Cereal Beverage and Elijah's Manna (a ripoff of Kellogg's Corn Flakes), and it remains hokum today. Rumors say that Post was actually trying to develop a new, metal-free shotgun pellet for the Army when he accidentally stumbled upon the formula for Grape Nuts, and nothing about the recipe has changed since that fateful day."

From "Grape Nuts: Because You Colon Is A Sissy," a Cereal Philanderer essay

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"Whether you come by your love of buttery baked goods via a stint in Parisian pastry school, or simply fancy yourself a Francophile, there's good news: If you're looking for a close-to-perfect croissant, there's no need to hop the next 767 to Charles de Gaulle. Seattle happens to have a number of solid representations when it comes to the buttery crescents, and that's before we even start discussing its descendants like the pain au chocolate.

This flaky, delightful accompaniment to a good espresso--simple, yet symbolic of all that is right in breakfast--is named for its traditional half-moon shape, but remembered for its many layers of puff pastry. Think that the last great croissant you had was in a patisserie in Montmartre? Give one of these local bakeries a chance, and we promise you won't be disappointed."

From "Seattle's Top 5 Croissants"

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"Last fall, Dick's Drive-In had half of Puget Sound stuffing the online ballot box, desperately trying to get the chain's next location in their hood. Edmonds emerged as the big winner, but it got us wondering--what's so damn wonderful about Dick's, anyway?

Thus began a monthly challenge wherein Voracious will eat around the rest of Seattle's burger joints, seeing how they, erm, measure up. The inaugural match pits Dick's against another beloved, fast-food style, cash-only burger slinger: Red Mill, famous for the mountain of bacon kept at the ready beside the grill. "

Just a taste of "Dick's vs. Red Mill: One Burger to Rule Them All"

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"Yes, we spend a lot of time looking at porn here at Voracious World Headquarters, but all most of it is actually just hot and steamy food porn. And every once in a while we get it in our heads to collect the best of what's clogging up our hard drives and pass it along to you."

From the intro to this week's installment of "Food Porn for Wiener Lovers"

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"Something doesn't get to be a trend JUST BECAUSE IT'S BEING DONE AT FUCKING MOMOFUKU. Awesome as that restaurant might be, it does not stand as the ultimate arbiter of taste nationwide. Go anywhere outside the five boroughs, and you will see that pie (good pie, even great pie, and not the crap pie being done to hump the zeitgeist) has been, like, the sixth food group of the American appetite forever. Along with cheeseburgers, casseroles (in the potluck church picnic style, not the French style), Twinkies, and barbecue, pie stands as one of the elemental dishes in the American canon. It is immutable, inextricable. Pie was here before you and pie will be here long after you are gone. In a million little roadside diners, truck stops, and neighborhood cafes, pie is how you know a meal is over. Recipes are guarded like blood, like breath--passed down like genetics from one generation to the next. Pie is immortal, enshrined for all time in the phrase "As American as Mom and apple pie." Something that forms one of the two defining elements of Americana does not suddenly become a trend just because someone in Gowanus or the Mission District decides to import the native brilliance and humble greatness of the pie into some place where it wasn't before."

This week, we called bullshit on all the pie-is-the-new-cupcakes trend nonsense, and you can read all about it in "Pie as a Trend? Bullshit, Just Like Trend Pieces Themselves"

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"It had to happen eventually. Because no one in this country who is famous (or even infamous) for more than 10 minutes gets out of the spotlight without having their own cooking show these days, Charlie Sheen now has one of his own. And it is called, naturally, "Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes."

Highlights include: How to eat like Charlie Sheen, the benefits of outdoor kitchens (the spirits of Charlie's Adonis ancestors can fly above him and spit fire onto the meal), teleportation, interstellar spaceship construction, chain smoking, cooking wands for warlocks, monkey-grub, Vatican assassins, how to cook a steak with your mind, tea made from dinosaur fossils, and threatening your chef's knife . . . with another knife."

Yes, Charlie Sheen has his own cooking show. And you can see episode 1 right here, in "Charlie Sheen Has A Cooking Show (Kinda)!"

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