redrobinwopsticks.jpg
Chris Kornelis
Red Robin's Wise Guy Burger is seriously unwise to consume, unless you're willing to walk a marathon afterward.
I love me some towering

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How Long Does It Take to Walk Off Ass-Fattening Lunches From Dick's, Red Robin, and Applebee's?

redrobinwopsticks.jpg
Chris Kornelis
Red Robin's Wise Guy Burger is seriously unwise to consume, unless you're willing to walk a marathon afterward.
I love me some towering onion rings from Red Robin. My arteries and hindquarters, on the other hand, do not. Now that most restaurants provide you with calorie counts, it's becoming harder and harder to ignore how unhealthy many chain-restaurant meals can be. My beloved Red Robin onion rings? One order, along with two different dipping sauces, contains a whopping 1,773 calories. (According to a report published by the Center For Nutrition Policy and Promotion in 2010, depending on one's weight, height, and amount of physical activity engaged in each day, the average man should consume between 2,000 and 3,000 calories per day. The average woman should consume between 1,600 and 2,400 calories per day.)

Chowing down on such calorie-laden meals gets can get you to wondering: How far would you have to walk to work it all off?

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In the time it would take a person to burn off 2,043 calories, they could walk from one Red Robin to another . . . and order another meal.
The Restaurant: Red Robin

The Meal: ? of an order of Towering Onion Rings (591 calories), Clucks and Fries With Seasoning and Ranch (1,452)

Time It Would Take to Walk Off the Calories: 9 hours and 45 minutes

According to CalorieKing.com, it would take a person nine hours and 45 minutes to walk off all of the calories consumed during a Red Robin meal of chicken tenders, fries, and onion rings. Of course, after you've done any form of physical activity long enough, your body adjusts to the activity, and you stop burning as many calories. So if a person truly wanted to walk off all 2,043 calories consumed during this meal, they'd have to take breaks along the way--not lunch breaks, mind you.

But where could you walk in nine hours and 45 minutes? Google Maps claims it would take eight hours and 45 minutes to walk from the University Bridge Red Robin (3272 Fuhrman Ave. E.) to the Red Robin in Federal Way (2233 S. 320th St.). You could also walk from the Red Robin at the Northgate Mall to the Red Robin at the Southcenter Mall, and then, for the heck of it, stroll over to Seward Park and still have time to kill. The entire venture would take nine hours and 10 minutes.

The Restaurant: Applebee's

The Meal: Bacon Cheeseburger (940), Fries (400), a slice of Maple Butter Blondie (990)

Time It Would Take to Walk Off the Calories: 10 hours and 30 minutes

If you set out from the Seattle Art Museum (1300 First Ave), you could stroll south to the Museum of Glass (1801 Dock St.) in Tacoma and still have a few minutes to spare.

You could also walk back and forth over the I-90 floating bridge more than six times or, if you were feeling especially "spiritual", Google Maps claims that a walk across the Puget Sound to Victoria, B.C., takes about four hours from the Port of Seattle. You'd have enough time to get a round trip in.

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The Restaurant: Dick's Drive-In

The Meal: Deluxe Burger (540), Fries (230), Chocolate Milkshake (396)

Time It Would Take to Walk Off the Calories: Six hours and 45 minutes

Thanks to its smaller portions, a burger-fries-and-shake meal at Dick's contains the least amount of calories: 1,166. (That's still over half of what the USDA recommends the average American woman eat each day.) So, obviously, it'd take the least amount of time to walk off the meal: almost seven hours.

If you're a park-frequenting sort of person, you could eat your meal at Gas Works Park, walk across Seattle to Seward Park, and back again. More appropriately, in the time it would take you to walk off that meal, you could walk to all five Dick's Drive-In locations in Seattle, and just barely make it back to your starting point.

Oh, and be sure to buy a decent pair of tennis shoes.

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