So earlier today, I wrote about Starbucks rolling out a "you'll love us, or else" promotion for Via, their new magically non-instant instant coffee.
And then, I bop on over to Eater.com, and what do I see? This lovely bit of advertising jujitsu being pulled by Coke, trying to lure away people who are so busy that they just don't have time to stand in line for a few minutes in order to get their latte fix for the day.Now I'm not generally one to step to the defense of the 'bux'd-up masses, but this is really a rather bold move on Coke's part. The point of the ad, I guess, is to speak to that demographic slice of harried Manhattanoids who have both no time, no taste and no particular concern over how they get that sweet, sweet caffeine into their systems. Coffee? Diet Coke? What's the difference, right? Because really, when a fast jolt of go-juice is what's required, who's got the time to worry themselves over the delivery system?
Now if there were some truly smart New Yorkers out there, they would immediately score themselves a couple bags of locally-sourced methamphetamine, a card table and the window space on the storefront on the other side of this Starbucks and start offering the people a seriously fast boost. Their advertisement could read:
"Crystal Meth: Because who has time for Coke?"