"We all understand that bacon is delicious. We've known that, almost literally, forever. But in recent years, the human love for bacon--our addiction to bacon>"/>
"We all understand that bacon is delicious. We've known that, almost literally, forever. But in recent years, the human love for bacon--our addiction to bacon (which can arguably be traced to its six types of umami, chain-lards, and un-copyable flavor, according to Arun Gupta), has gotten out of hand. Bacon has become a meme, a trope, a snag in the collective unconscious making it the answer to all questions, the solution to all problems. The addiction has become as much psychological as it is physical, driving us--in the classic drug-abuser's pattern of chasing that first, sweetest high--to greater and more esoteric exertions in the name of bacon enjoyment until the phrase "Everything's Better With Bacon!" becomes like a challenge: Oh, yeah? Watch what I can do . . .
Bacon has not merely jumped the shark. Bacon has taken all the sharks, stuffed them with cupcakes, ice cream, sausage, lipstick, alarm clocks, and mayonnaise, wrapped them in bacon, deep-fried them, then jumped that. Using a ramp made of bacon."
From "Bacon, We Have a Problem," this week's history of bacon and bacon-scented manifesto. Let Bacon Be Bacon!
"Recently it came to my attention that cookie connoisseurs finally found a solution to the nearly 11-month absence of Girl Scout cookies from the average American household: online recipes. Turns out there's no shortage of home-tested Girl Scout cookie recipes floating around the Internet.
Given the sweet ingredients that go into each cookie--melted chocolate and mint extract for Thin Mints, caramel and coconut for Samoas--it's unsurprising that most recipes receive rave reviews. But the real question is: Are these cookies really as good as the product the Girl Scouts of America put out?
Luckily, I'm not the only person I know who's wild about Girl Scout cookies. I pulled together some friends, we pooled the resources in our cupboards, and we put the recipes to a taste test..."
And you, too, can get your fix with "Make Girl Scout Cookies at Home!"
"While I loathe the PETA political machine, I have always had a soft spot for the evil geniuses in their marketing department. They are brilliant, and while the "banned" Veggie Love ad they pushed for last year's Super Bowl was good, what they're pimping right now is even better: The TOTALLY NSFW outtakes from the casting of Veggie Love, which basically consists of a whole bunch of hot girls in their underthings (and one completely bewildered-looking dude) simulating sex with a variety of wang-shaped vegetables. They're probably something you'll want to hold off watching until you get home, but if you insist on looking now, don't say I didn't warn you . . ."
Check out the veggie sex at "And Now, Some REAL Food Porn (NSFW): Because Sex With Vegetables Is Awesome."
"Munchbar opened in Bellevue Square on Friday. I was invited by Wilson PR to attend the grand opening. Normally I couldn't be bothered to voluntarily go to Bellevue and deal with the Kafkaesque traffic. But then I heard that the celebrity guest would be Mario Lopez, who played A.C. Slater on my beloved Saved by the Bell. The cloud of dust, comically shaped like my body as I bolted out the door to attend the opening, could be seen from space.
After enduring an almost Soviet vetting process in which our driver's licenses were scanned for some reason, we were ushered inside the 6,300-square-foot edifice. It looks a lot like the Maxx, Slater's favorite (and seemingly ONLY) restaurant on Saved by the Bell. There's lots of wiggly neon crap all over, and spray-painted murals. This was a great sign: They'd gone out of their way to make sure Slater would feel at home in his natural habitat!"
The Surly Gourmand, getting giggly over his favorite pin-up, in "Mario Lopez Came Unfashionably Late to Munchbar's Grand-Opening Party."
"The marshmallows in Lucky Charms are oddly crisp, a feature that can be intensely disturbing if you think about it too much, so just don't. They are made of sugar, more sugar, earwig honey, leprechaun tears, high-fructose corn syrup, peat, clover meal, and sugar. In order to keep them from going completely soggy the minute they are touched by milk, each marshmallow is also coated in a thick glaze of sugar, with a little sugar added for flavor.
Lucky Charms are best enjoyed either early in the morning or very late at night, after a few pops, just when the alcohol has gotten you feeling maudlin and nostalgic for your lost childhood. Milk is the ideal lubricant, but in an emergency a good stout or porter will also work. Lucky Charms mixed with whiskey is colloquially known as "Irish Stew." Or maybe that's just something I made up."
From "Lucky Charms: Get a Little Irish in Ya," this week's installment of Cereal Philanderer
"Let's make this clear: There is no magic pill that will make your lover aroused or attracted to you. That said, many foods are scientifically or historically reported to, um . . . get the juices flowing, if you will.
Some edibles are well-known, bona fide aphrodisiacs. Oysters, chocolate, and caviar have all been proven to get you in the mood. And of course if those fail, you always have alcohol. A glass of wine or other boozy concoction lowers inhibitions, eases shyness, and increases libido in women. Bottoms up!"
"Bravo has a total golden goose with their Top Chef franchise. But in order to keep that goose laying, they have to constantly feed it knife-wielding men and women in white jackets. Making it some kind of huge, carnivorous goose . . . or something.
Anyway, the point here is that, yesterday, Bravo announced both season two of Top Chef: Just Desserts and Top Chef season nine. And since it appears that our Strategic National Reserve of Television Chefs is running a bit low, they also announced open casting calls in almost a dozen cities across the country. And guess what? Seattle is one of those cities."
All the details of which can be found in "Wanna Be on Top Chef? Read On . . ."