Frozen Dinner Feature pic.jpg
How many food faces do you see? And, seriously, are those dirty golf balls supposed to be potatoes?
Since the early days of frozen TV


7 Calorie-Soaked Frozen Dinners

Frozen Dinner Feature pic.jpg
How many food faces do you see? And, seriously, are those dirty golf balls supposed to be potatoes?
Since the early days of frozen TV dinners, families across the country have packed their freezers, and subsequently their bellies, full of pre-assembled, single-serving meals packed with preservatives and calories. Working parents, college students, and single professionals breathed sighs of relief when the most taxing part of dinner was preheating the oven or pressing START on the microwave. Over the years, tons of new options have come onto the market that are healthier for your body, but that's no fun! Let's uncover some of the fattiest, most calorically dense plastic and tin plates still up for grabs.

Hungry Man Roasted Carved Turkey

This may be close to getting a Thanksgiving dinner in under 20 minutes, but who is honestly willing to blow 1,360 calories on crusty, dry mashed potatoes, fake gravy, and a few slabs of turkey? And is it really fair to call it roasted? How can one be certain it was actually roasted, and not microwaved the first time? The only things in this box that are XXL are the portion size and calories.

Calories 1360

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Hungry Man Sports Grill Jumbo Popcorn Chicken With Pizza Sticks & Dipping Sauce

Exactly what it sounds like, this fun plate is a smorgasbord of junk you would find at your local TGI-Apple-Factory. What do deep-fried popcorn chicken, greasy pizza sticks, and oily dipping sauce have in common? They all contribute to heart burn and cottage-cheese butt.

Calories 950

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Hungry Man Beer Battered Chicken

Beer-battered barf it up later, much? Between the fat-cut potato wedges, gelatinous cheese sauce, and battered chicken nuggets, this frozen fiasco is just waiting to come back up on you later. Hopefully one time is enough with this beast, because at 820 calories (and not a vegetable in sight), this isn't even on the same planet as a balanced meal.

Calories 820

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Hungry Man Boneless Pork Frozen Dinner

When your point of pride on the front of the box is that there's over a POUND of food, you've pretty much limited your demographic to the drunk and the frat boys. How does pork actually get turned into "rib shaped patties"? If you don't know, then you might not want to indulge here. Those faux ribs are doused in barbecue sauce with mashed potatoes, corn, & a brownie. Wow. Where do we sign?

Calories 840

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Marie Callender's Sweet & Sour Chicken

It's pretty obvious that this is by far the healthiest of our options to date, and that you could do without the rice and batter on the chicken that's generating the most calories in the dish. However, that basically leaves you with microwaved vegetables and flavorless chicken, soooo, no thanks. Keep the rice and battered chicken and definitely leave the sauce. The sauce serves as the last bastion of hope for this boring, not-so-healthy plate of carbs.

Calories 600

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Marie Callender's Beef Stroganoff

Hands down, the grossest thing about beef Stroganoff as a kid were the slippery egg noodles that were reminiscent of what came out of your nose when you laughed too hard at the dinner table. The beef was usually tough, and what the heck was in that brown sauce? If that memory didn't stop you from throwing this in your cart, then maybe the hefty calorie load will?

Calories 600

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Stouffers White Meat Chicken Pot Pie

The pot pies your mom put out for dinner for you on those nights they played cribbage at the Johnsons' were skimpy, dry, and watery. The Stouffers version is large and in charge in a gluteny, chicken-filled, buttery-crust kind of way. Totally different in a good way, and worse for you than that cardboard crust you remember. At least they made an attempt to throw some peas, carrots, celery, and onions in there . . . no matter that they're drowning in a creamy gravy bath of cardiac-arresting proportions.

Calories 1160

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