"Among the least-influential people listed by Joel Stein were Carrot Top, witches, and Jon Gosselin. No arguments there. But Stein also included Mayor McCheese on>"/>
"Among the least-influential people listed by Joel Stein were Carrot Top, witches, and Jon Gosselin. No arguments there. But Stein also included Mayor McCheese on his list. And that, my friends, was just a cheeseburger too far.
I went on to school Joel (and all the rest of you) on the rise to power, remarkable political acumen, and tragic, violent scandals of McDonaldland's most favored son. There were the legal battles between McCheese and H.R. Pufnstuf; his standing strong after the destruction of Springfield's Fast Food Boulevard (which was like McCheese's Katrina); his ongoing battles with the Hamburglar (which ended with a bloody, 14-hour siege of the McDonaldland Motel, culminating in the capture of the Hamburglar and the deaths of his accomplices, the Griddler and Captain Crook); and finally the sex-and-drugs scandal of 2010, detailed in this video. Not exactly the life of a "least-influential" kind of man, right? Especially for a man with a giant cheeseburger for a head."
From "The (Possible) Return of Mayor McCheese," the story of an online petition to bring back the beloved McDonald's mascot.
"Lindsley understands that the target market for the Dick's experience generally arrives in a state where the appreciation of the finer points of the burgermaker's art might be hampered by any number of chemicals coursing through the bloodstream. He gets that this is the burger stand of choice for broke-ass college kids (and journalists). He knows there's a generational loyalty here that accounts for a large proportion of Dick's business. But his fondness seems to remain lukewarm at best. He goes on to say 'Dick's burgers are a stupendous value, but don't drive up expecting a life-changing experience. You won't get it. Instead, you'll get a gratifying, unchallenging burger that hits the spot and does so without draining your college fund. As a meat, cheese, and salt-delivery device, it succeeds marvelously.'
What he really hated were the fries (and rightly so). Despite the fact that they are hand-cut, it takes extraordinary luck to get an order of Dick's fries that are any better than edible, and what one generally gets is much worse."
"In 2010, Seattle was abuzz with restaurant closings and openings, a result of the volatile economy. Capitol Hill was the busiest of the neighborhoods, with a lengthy list of new pie shops, Thai restaurants, and bars, with closings to match. Ballard wasn't far behind, with its own extensive list of barbecue joints, bars, and Italian restaurants."
From "Looking Back: Capitol Hill and Ballard Ruled the Restaurant Scene in 2010," an exhaustive accounting of all the openings and closing in Seattle last year.
From "Jesus Is a Taco," filed under Stuff We Like.
"The Product: Green and orange cereal rings, studded with chunky shards of pure sugary goodness. No, they do not taste even a little bit like apples. They taste like what crack cocaine would taste like if it were being produced by a major American cereal company and marketed primarily at spastic children. In other words, delicious and vaguely chemical. Thanks, William Thilly!
The rings hold up reasonably well to milk, but give up much of their flavor once they become soggy. This is good and bad. On the one hand, no one likes a bowlful of soggy O's. On the other, the milk that's left after the cereal is gone tastes like drinking a unicorn's tears."
From our new Cereal Philanderer column, "Apple Jacks: The Big Green Box of Love."
"It started with a slight tickle in your throat and a runny nose. You put on a pair of flannel pants and went to bed early to no avail. This morning, you feel miserable. Your throat now feels like it was rubbed raw by sandpaper and your head like it weighs a thousand pounds. Help is here! This city has its fair share of cold-remedying cuisine for you to choose from. We've counted down the five most effective so that you can make it to work and use your
hooky sick time for funner, healthier days."
"Seattle is a vegan-friendly city, no doubt. But pizza? Typically the dish is served smothered in cheese or carries names such as "Meat Lover's." There may not be a host of places out there for vegan pizzas (one, Juliano's, recently closed). Rest assured, however, quantity, not quality, is all the Seattle vegan-pizza picture lacks."
From "Vegan Pizza Toss-Off: Pizza Pi vs. Turnpike," this week's Versus challenge.
"Sidle up to any bar and try asking for an Oly. After your server gives you a blank look, you might have to slowly enunciate the name again. Olympia. No, not the state capital, the beer. After a brief discussion about spring water and horseshoes, the bartender will probably sneer and direct you to a Coors Light or, worse, a Budweiser.
Sadly, Olympia beer has gone the way of well-made American cars, the Marlboro Man and CB radios. Even in Seattle, the chance of finding a joint (other than a grocery store) that still serves up Oly, either on draft or in a can is about as rare as, say, finding an Olympia label with four dots on the back of it in the 1980s.
And if you lived here then, you know how rare and important a find that was."
From "Olympia Beer: The Water And The History," an epic look back at one of Seattle's most beloved local brews.