10 Worst Cocktails Ever: The Names Are Only the Beginning

Today, the folks over at Daily Meal came up with a list of the 10 Most Disgusting Cocktail Names. They had the Buzzard's Breath (which is actually rather minty and almondy) and Sewer Water (just a mix of gin and fruity liqueurs), the Salty Dog (a classic--gin and grapefruit juice with salt) and the Windex (also known as a Brain Cleaner, but not to be confused with the Minderaser).

Problem is, none of their drinks were really disgusting. And even the names weren't all that bad.

So what we thought was that what the world might need on this Monday afternoon was a list of some truly disgusting cocktails--real bottom-of-the-barrel shots that no one has done since college and most sane people have probably never tried at all.

Enjoy at your own risk...

We'll start off simple with:

1) The Nasty Bitch

Mean name, but not the worst drink in the world: just tequila and cointreau.

2) Liquid Steak

Allegedly, one part rum and one part Worcestershire sauce. But that's wrong. It should be one part scotch (for the smokiness), then half-Worcestershire and half-A1 steak sauce.

3) Cement Mixer

Everyone knows this one, right? Splash of Rose's Lime in a glass of Bailey's Irish Cream? It's the curdling effect that gives the drink its name. Also what it will make your stomach feel like.

4) Four Horsemen (aka The Motherfucker)

Tequila, Jager, Rumpleminz and Bacardi 151, in equal measure, all in one glass. This shit will just kill you dead.

Now things get a bit less pleasant...

5) Bloody Tampon

Two parts vodka and one part tomato juice. Suck on a paper napkin for 10 seconds before knocking back the shot.

6) Alligator Sperm

Mix equal parts melon liqueur and lime juice. Lace with cream. Drink. Or don't.

7) Smoker's Cough

Jager and warm mayonnaise. Yum!

8) Motor Oil

Jager, peppermint schnapps, Goldschlager and coconut rum in equal proportion. I've also heard this called Christmas in Bermuda, so it is seasonally appropriate, too.

And now the worst:

9) Jersey Turnpike (aka Pennsylvania Interstate, Cannery Row, Bridge-and-Tunnel)

Required: one bar mat, one bar rag, one glass. Get the picture?

10) Hot Mexican Hooker

1 shot of cheap tequila, a dash of Tabasco and the liquid from one can of tuna.

Hey, I warned you, didn't I?

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