Top 5 McDonald's Meals to Buy When Calories & Social Stigma Are Not Considerations


Top 5 McDonald's Meals to Buy When Calories & Social Stigma Are Not Considerations

  • Top 5 McDonald's Meals to Buy When Calories & Social Stigma Are Not Considerations

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    How to eat when you're eating at McDonald's.
    I love McDonald's. I don't believe people who hate McDonald's.

    I really don't see what's subjective about classifying a meal at McDonald's a thin slice from nirvana. Not only is a meal at McDonald's delicious, but it is, how do we say today, "ethically raised." At least the kind of "ethics" I'm interested in. It's affordable (I dare you to try and replicate a McDouble at home for $1), they buy local (eastern Washington potatoes, western Washington milk, as you can see on the billboards), and every single person who walks through the golden arches is treated exactly the same way. Social class has absolutely no holding at McDonald's. The broken man with one dollar to his name and the McWindows exec are treated to identical experiences, and both allowed to use the bathroom.

    But, I admit: Much as I love me some Mickey-Ds, I don't get in there often enough. I have what you might call a lack of self control; leave me alone with a half-gallon of Tillamook ice cream (any flavor) and you're not going to get any; give me a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and 30 minutes in the car and the box will empty; and set me inside a McDonald's with a credit card and a car burning carbon in the parking lot, and I'll order a lot like this:

    1. Big Mac: I'm a sucker for the flavor. Why it has a third bun I'll never know. And isn't it interesting how few burgers have been able to maintain a third bun the way the Big Mac has? For my burger money, it doesn't get much better than this.

    2. Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese: The only problem with the Big Mac is that, well, it's just not hefty enough. I need more meat in my burger. And meat is pretty much all this guy is. Paired together in a meal, I get the Big Mac taste I crave and the filling experience I need.

    3. Large Fries: They've got to be straight out of the fryer. They're supposed to be soggy and salty, but cold, soggy, and salty can be a real buzz-kill. I'm just waiting for McDonald's to shape their fry tubs to fit into cup holder like their rivals at Burger King have. That way they can finally be consumed they way nature intended: as a beverage.

    4. Large Oreo McFlurry: There's no substitute for a DQ Blizzard, and the McFlurry doesn't really try and replicate it. It's about as close to Blizzard as Taco Bell is to authentic Mexican. The Bell is delicious, and so are McFlurrys. For an extra kick, dip a hot fry in here when you get past the toppings and it's just vanilla ice cream. (Note: The inability for McDonald's to mix their McFlurrys to the consistency of a Blizzard could be viewed as a weakness. But play to its strength, dunk your fries, and forget about making a second stop at DQ.)

    5. Diet Coke: I can't drink regular Coke. That shit's too sweet. Plus, it packs a lot of empty calories.

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