Saturday Night Live is, apparently, cribbing their Weekend Update bits from the Voracious blog now (which, by the way, I am totally cool with) because not only did they do a not-completely-unexpected "interview" with Four Loko founder Chris Hunter, but they also brought on Bobby Moynihan to do another awesome Guy Fieri impression which was just who we were talking about on Friday with our "7 Stupid Things We've Learned From Food Television" post--thing number six being: "A goofy haircut, a pair of sunglasses and a TV show are enough to make you a food expert!"
The real Guy Fieri--if "real" is the right word
Hunter (as played by Jason Sudeikis) was at the Weekend Update desk to talk about some new products his company is considering in wake of the FDA report/continuing statewide bans on alcoholic energy drinks (I think he's going to have a hit with the Amy Winehouse, made of doughnuts, K-Y Jelly, cigarettes, and horse tranquilizers). And Fieri was talking Thanksgiving because he goes "bezerkey for turkey, but gobble gobble, let's make it full throbble."
Videos after the jump. Plus--as a special treat--three Seattle Weekly wordsmiths and their hyperbole make it into New York magazine's Grub Street blog just for talking smack about Four Loko.First, here's Fieri getting crazy with raisins and Jagermeister:
And now, Chris Hunter and Four Loko:
Meanwhile, over at Grub Street, they collected 50 descriptions of what Four Loko tastes like, gathered from all over the web. "It tasted like prison wine made from Fruity Pebbles," according to The Desert Lamp. Fork In The Road (from our East Coast relation, the Village Voice) said it tasted, "Like a Jolly Rancher that should attend 12-step meetings, one sip of this puts you in the shoes of someone who regularly drinks Lysol." And another one of our sister papers, Westword, just seemed a little sad when they described the flavor as "rejection and morning-after regret."
But seeing as we here on the Voracious blog really made this Four Loko story our own, we had plenty of time to craft poetic descriptions of the stuff, and so got tagged three times.
First was Caleb Hannan, saying, "Imagine a can full of Thor's piss after the Norse god has just chugged some Dimetapp."
Then there was me, describing it as tasting, "like drinking watermelon-flavored paint thinner."
And finally, Mike Seely (describing Four Loko taste-alike Tilt, actually), adding that, "It tastes like a huge piece of Hubba Bubba that Jackie Gleason has just spit into your mouth."
You're welcome, world of literature.