Adam Richman & Guy Fieri: Man v. Douche?

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fieriflames.jpg
Fieri, shown wildin' out in flavor country, where his shirt literally cooks t-bones.
Guy Fieri, host of the Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives ,

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Adam Richman & Guy Fieri: Man v. Douche?

  • Adam Richman & Guy Fieri: Man v. Douche?

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    fieriflames.jpg
    Fieri, shown wildin' out in flavor country, where his shirt literally cooks t-bones.
    Guy Fieri, host of the Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives, has come to epitomize the term "douche." The Mr. J 'do, the goatee, the louder than loud bowling/fat guy shirts, the turbo frat lingo, the shades permanently resting on the back of his head, the fact that he operates a restaurant called Tex Wasabi's--it's to the point where words are no longer necessary to perfectly encapsulate the 'bag m.o.

    Don't take our word for it; in the Boston Phoenix's annual roundup of the unsexiest men in America, here's what they had to say about Guy (TGI)Friday, whom they dubbed a "Frosted Flake": "Everything about this guy screams 'douche': the spiky, frosted hair; the chunky-brah wardrobe, the shades, the lingo, the tri-tone goatee. What, exactly, qualifies him for his job? His uncanny knack for overacting while telling some greasy-spoon owner how good his eggs are? Given his looks, might we suggest that Guy would be better served applying to be Godsmack's limo-driver?"

    Sure. But Fieri's likely got his own limo-driver, as his food-celeb juggernaut seems virtually immune to criticism. He'd be the Sarah Palin of cable television if Sarah Palin weren't already the Sarah Palin of cable television.

    And you know what? The guy's show, which he refers to as "Triple D," is undeniably watchable. His banter with cooks and restaurateurs can, at times, feel obnoxious and forced (just how many times can one man repeat the phrase "depth of flavor" and look like he's just blown a load after sinking his teeth into a pastrami sandwich?), but like the humble places he visits around the country, there's a lot more to Guy than meets the eye, and much of it's endearing.

    The problem with Fieri's show is it's too restricting. There are only so many diners, drive-ins and dives that serve food fit for a passport to flavor country. Having already exhausted Beth's, Voula's, Mike's Chili Parlor and the like, the last time Fieri visited town, he hit up...Bizzarro in Wallingford. That place is quirky and serves fine food, but it's an Italian bistro, bearing no resemblance to a diner, drive-in, or dive.

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    Richman just loves eating pie.
    It's likely no one would pay this cheatin' elasticity much mind had Adam Richman's Man v. Food not shown up on the Travel Channel as a sort of perfected version of Fieri's show, which is being further cannibalized with new Food Network entries like Meat & Potatoes and Outrageous Food. While Richman mostly visits lowbrow haunts, he's not required to. And while he too must say "tremendous depth of flavor" a whole lot and feign orgasmic reactions to food that can't possibly be as good as his facial expression indicates, his humor is far rangier and more clever than Fieri's. Plus, at the end of every show, he morphs into a competitive eater and wolfs down 700-lb. burritos 'n shit.

    Richman's the schlubby hipster Jew from Brooklyn to Fieri's Jager-guzzling bro from the SoCal burbs--way cooler, in other words. Fieri may still be the bigger star, but Richman has him completely and utterly outflanked. In this Celebrity Versus challenge, Richman eats Fieri's lunch, and then washes it down with his own lunch too.

     
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