The comment function on any blog is a portal to literary adventure. We here at Voracious appreciate the readers who take the time to give>"/>
The comment function on any blog is a portal to literary adventure. We here at Voracious appreciate the readers who take the time to give us constructive feedback, both negative and positive. Coherent comments make us better writers. Then, there are those who just want to tell us how stupid we are and those who demand our resignations. What type of commenter are you? We created a user guide of the 10 most common profiles we see every day. If you have more to add, you know what to do.
It doesn't matter how much you know about food, this commenter knows more. And they'll make sure you know that.
"You mentioned liking the Cotija cheese on your enchilada, but Cotija is a cheese by definition, so you're really just saying cheese twice. You're welcome."
Sixteen tons of synonym finding fury! This commenter will tell you just how much they hate you and your opinion once they ransack the thesaurus for a tongue lashing that would make both Merriam and Webster roll over in their graves.
"You, sir, are a pedantic hack with no more intellect than a mere automaton! Indubitably! Excelsior!"
From word choice to flavor preference, this commenter gets off on being extremely offended by just about anything.
"You can't be serious. You liked the pulled pork sliders at X? You think they're 'tasty'? Are you fucking kidding me? Everyone knows the sliders at Y are way better. I am so offended, I'm going to hitch a ride out of town on the boat you missed with this write-up."
Your writing better be action-packed, otherwise, you're wasting this commenter's time. Classic tags include:
"Yawn" "Zzzzzz" "Lame" "I want the two minutes I spent reading this post back" "I can't believe I logged out of YouPorn for this drivel"
"I want the two minutes I spent reading this post back"
"I can't believe I logged out of YouPorn for this drivel"
This commenter is harmless. They just like to disagree.
"I have to disagree with you. My experience at T.G.I. McFunbag's was fantastic. In fact, I've never had a bad meal there, except for that one time I found a sink strainer in my salad, but that just goes to show you how clean their food is."
This commenter uses the comments section, not to comment on a specific post, but to declare how much they despise the blog in general.
"I didn't even read this post, but I know it sucks. This glaring lack of talent is why I stopped caring about your blog a year ago. But I still like to comment."
Hope you're thirsty, because this commenter is going to pour you a generous serving of Hatorade - just because.
"This column is a joke and a total disservice to mankind. Do everyone a favor and go kill yourself, you hack. Now, excuse me while I go punch that baby."
Writing about cheeseburgers? Donuts? Cotton candy? This commenter is appalled.
"Junk food is the devil's work. Last year, it killed more people than heart disease, smoking, and autoerotic asphyxiation combined. Studies show 87% of people who have been into a Jack in the Box have colon cancer. If you've even heard about the Double Down, it's already too late."
This commenter is obviously a PR shill whose restaurant client you just trashed. Usually upbeat, but still annoying.
"You're wrong! Restaurant X is super delish! I go there every chance I get! Great service, good food, friendly staff! What more could you want? Their bacon and sea salt caramel cupcakes with reggiano cream frosting are TO DIE FOR! One time I even saw Jesus sitting in a corner booth!"
You decided to write about a chain restaurant or product. Nice try, but this commenter is on to you.
"You're writing about the Olive Garden? Seriously? Did they give you a ride in their Pasta Plane or something? I mean, I love the never-ending pasta bowl as much as the next guy, but I have to shell out $5.95 like the rest of the proletariat."