Eating truly has become a spectator sport these days. Socrates, that old scoundrel, once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." And while he meant that as a call to calm and personal reflection, today it has been turned inside-out. If you're not blogging, tweeting, facebooking, foursquareing, vimeo-ing, flickr-ing and providing real-time GPS data on every single cool restaurant and bar you visit, are you really actually there? Does a meal out count if everyone in the world doesn't know you're eating it?
These are the questions taken on by bajillionhits.biz in a post entitled How To Use The Internet To Show People You're The Coolest At Eating Food.From bajillionhits: "Even though you're probably too busy doing deals to force down much more than the odd PowerBar and Monster energy drink combo, eating food is much more than just a necessity for staying alive. Now, thanks to the 'Net, it's another killer app for showing people how cool you are. So if you want to integrate strategic food appreciation into your personal brand (and you should), here's a handy guide to spicing up your food eating strat."
The suggestions include things like "Become the Definitive Authority on 'The Best' of All Foods," "Become Active on Established Food Sites Like Chowhound, Eater, Grub Street and Serious Eats," "Find Hole-In-the-Wall Ethnic Food Places That Are So Dirty, 'Authentic', and Undiscovered They're Not Even On Foursquare Yet," and always eating at food trucks because "There is almost nothing cooler than eating food prepared on a truck that has fancy branding, a 'cross-fusion' menu selection, and a Twitter account (if it doesn't have those things, it's just a regular lunch truck, and eating food off it is gross and for poor people)."
Check out the original post here (which I found thanks to Eater, natch), and remember: one of the most important ways to become the coolest at eating food is to become all snarky, ironic and superior about all the other people out there trying to be cool about eating food.
Mirrors within mirrors, dude. Welcome to the hipness vortex.