We all love a tasty street dog -- and Dante's Inferno Dogs are the best in the city. That's the hot dog cart you'll find at the Ballard Sunday Market, in front of King's Hardware and the High Dive, and the U-Village, among other locations. Founder Dante Rivera himself is the most generous of men; he's here to serve your sausage needs one hundred percent.
But you know what? Even a patient businessman like Dante gets ticked off by you grubby customers every now and then. Without further ado, here are the top 7 reasons why the hot dog cart guy hates you:
7. You Don't Follow Our Rules
"The thing that makes our operation unique that we insist on dressing all the dogs ourselves," explains Rivera. "People just don't seem to understand that they can as much or as little toppings as they want, but we have to put it on ourselves. People get somewhat infuriated due to that fact. And if that's the case, then we ask them to walk away. Sorry, but that's the way we do things."
6. You Don't Pay Attention
"People will wait in line for 20 minutes, and then they'll get up to the cart and say, 'hey, what do you have?' Even though they've been staring in the line for the last 20 minutes."
5. You Don't Know What You're Talking About
"People often walk up to the cart and they're all proud of themselves, they think they know what they're doing, and they'll say, 'hey give me the works!' So you start giving them the works - kraut, mustard, relish, ketchup - and then all of a sudden they're like, 'whoa, whoa, wait a minute, I don't like onions! Whoa, cream cheese on a hot dog?' I like it when people say 'give me the works' if they actually mean 'give me the works.'"
4. You Don't Stay Put
"People will come up to the cart, and they'll order something, and then they'll disappear. And then in 20 minutes they'll walk up and be put out a little, like, 'dude, where's my dog?' Usually you're so busy that once somebody's out of sight, of course you're not going to remember."
3. You Think You're So Smart
"Another one is that everybody has an idea for you. Once in a great, great while, someone will actually have a great idea. But usually they're like, 'dude, you should be by the stadium! Dude, dude, you know where you should be?' Everybody's telling you how to run your business and where you should be. Somebody was telling me to put Mike & Ike's, the hard candy, on the hot dogs. Usually it comes back to toppings. It is kind of disgusting."
2. You Touch My Stuff
"People come by all the time and start rifling through the cart - touching the pans, the tongs, helping themselves. And the biggest excuse that they have to offer? 'Oh, it's ok, I work in the food industry. Oh, it's ok, I used to do this myself back in college.' And this is something I've been doing over the years, just because I've been doing this for a long time and I'm started to get a little bit bitter and jaded. If a woman starts rifling through my cart, I'll reach out and I'll grab her purse. And I'll start going through her purse. She'll go, 'oh my gosh, what are you doing?' and I go, 'you don't like it, do you?' And then it kind of sinks in."
1. You Just Want Too Much
"People walk up to the cart and say, "give me a gyro." Or, "I'll take an order of fries with that." And they're serious. Sometimes [they're drunk] but not always. They just assume they can have whatever they want. It's even all the more comical when you know the guy's been there for 20 minutes waiting in line and he walks up to the cart and he orders a burger, and he's a little bit put off that you don't have burgers."
DISCLAIMER: At the end of the day, Dante thinks you are all highly entertaining and is quick to admit, "If it wasn't for the drunks, I'd be out of business."