I understand all about food obsessions. I understand that desperate need for that one thing you want more than anything else in the world. And I can certainly understand how those wants and needs can be amped up considerably by the application of 27 shots of Jager and the sudden New Year's Day realization of all the poor life choices you've made.
Sometimes you just really need some Chicken McNuggets, you know?
Sometimes you really really need some Chicken McNuggets.
Sometimes you really, really, REALLY need some Chicken McNuggets.
And then there's this woman...
Yeah, well, it's even better when you know the details. This surveillance video was recorded at an Ohio McDonald's at 6 a.m. on New Year's Day (though the tape was just released yesterday). The lovely young woman shown in the video trying to literally climb through the drive-thru window? That's 24-year-old Melodi Dushane of Toledo (currently serving 60 days for what's shown on the tape). And what triggered the whole sad, terrible, hilarious chain of events captured by the camera was Dushane demanding Chicken McNuggets at 6 in the morning from a bunch of fast food employees who'd probably been on shift straight through Toledo's New Year's Eve festivities and were likely pretty fucking sick of drunk-ass idiots behaving badly in or near their restaurant already.
You can read all about the incident on the courtesy of local ABC affiliate WTVG in Toledo. But why don't I save you a little time and cut right to the punchline, here.
According to court records, Dushane "apologized to the court, and her attorney says she was drinking the night of the incident [No, really?] and suffers from panic attacks, which she blames for leading up to the attack."
Which is totally the excuse I'm going to use the next time I get caught on camera going totally apeshit on some poor woman at the Arby's drive-thru.
"I'm sorry, your Honor. I understand now that I can't order curly fries by the pound and shouldn't have expected the Arby's employees to be able to fill my backseat with jamocha milkshake mix. I apologize for taking those hostages, for pelting SWAT team members with wads of roast beef, and especially for not having any pants on at the time of my arrest. But in my defense, I had been drinking quite a bit and was suffering from a panic attack. So, uh... Can I go now?"