Suicidal Cow.jpg
No animals were harmed in the making of this post. Except this one.
It's been another long week here at Voracious World HQ. We've told

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Greatest Hits and What You Missed: Playing the Headline Game

Suicidal Cow.jpg
No animals were harmed in the making of this post. Except this one.
It's been another long week here at Voracious World HQ. We've told lots of stories, reported lots of news, picked lots of fights (mostly with yuppies, vegetarians and fools, which is nothing new) and written lots and lots of headlines.

So now, it's time to play a game. I'm going to give you the headline from a story this week, and you're going to guess what, in fact, the story is about. To make things easy, we'll do it multiple-choice style. Just click on the headline link to see whether or not you guessed right (or to read more, of course).

Here's one as an example:

What Alaska, Mexico and Popcorn All Have in Common

A) All of them figure heavily in Glen Beck's Nightmares

B) They are all things that I'm allergic too

C) All figure into the roasting of Kaladi Brothers coffee

Now obviously, the proper answer is A, becuse Glen Beck is terrified of Mexicans, Alaska (because it's so close to them damn Russkies) and movie theatres (because they are dens of liberal iniquity), but the correct answer is C. Click the link and you'll see what I mean.

So are you ready? Let's play...

Slippery When Wet

A) Greatest Bon Jovi album of all time

B) An oyster happy hour smack-down

C) A detailed exposition on the sex life of otters

Of Food Trucks and Fire Bombs

A) Hottest street foods in Seattle

B) Recipes for the mobile anarchist

C) A report on the curry wars breaking out between rival food trucks in Sydney

From Number Cruncher to Pie Purveyor and Sweet Success

A) The story of a mild-mannered accountant turned prostitute

B) The story of a mild-mannered bond trader turned international baking guru (and prostitute)

C) The story of a mild-mannered financial analyst turned Seattle pie maker (and not a prostitute at all)

A Big, Piratey Sausage Fest

A) Revealing expose on the sex lives of gay buccaneers

B) A hard-hitting investigation into the West Seattle neighborhood association

C) A story about Midwestern sausage makers, stained glass and the opening of the Heartland Cafe

Who's That Ladysmith is a story about...

A) Ladysmith Black Mambazo

B) Cheese

C) Female blacksmiths

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A Daily Double Visual Clue!

If legendary country music star, actor and champion of traditional small-town values Hoyt Axton were to eat at any Seattle restaurant it would be...

A) Canlis

B) Geraldine's Counter

C) Beth's Cafe, because he's dead and would have to come back as a zombie and all zombies love Beth's.

Can you name the 7 Celebrity Chefs that Women Love? One of these chefs is NOT on that list:

A) Anthony Bourdain

B) Tom Colicchio

C) Andrew Zimmern

D) Rachael Ray

Sopitos My Stamos is about...

A) Mexican food and one woman's love for John Stamos

B) Ethnic foods with names that sound like the names of 80's celebrities

C) Mexican food and one man's love for John Stamos

D) None of the above

What's the Harm in a Little Ribbing?

A) The sex practices of deviant BBQ afficionados

B) A report on organic condom manufacturing in the city of Seattle

C) A rib showdown

Homeless Rodeo Cowboy Dumber, More Famous Than You Are

A) The story of a transient bronc buster putting himself through culinary school

B) The story of a homeless weirdo who broke into a bar and just started serving booze for cash, gave a long interview to a local newspaper reporter, and then ended up in jail when a local detective recognized his picture in the paper

C) A review of the Brokeback Mountain sequel, The Revenge of Jack Twist

Angelina Jolie Has No Time To Cook Or Eat

A) A review of Angelina Jolie's new restaurant-based comedy, Salt, in which she plays a hapless cook in over her head and hilarity ensues.

B) A review of Angelina Jolie's new spy thriller, Salt, in which she plays a secret agent in over her head and hilarity ensues.

C) A review of Angelina Jolie's new historical epic, Salt, in which she plays the 10th century wife of an Arabian salt importer in over her head and hilarity ensues.

How Booze Can Make Your Boobs Bigger

Okay, well now that one's just pretty much self-explanatory...

Have a good weekend, folks. See you back here bright and early on Monday.

 
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