Eness Is Toast, No Doubt Due to the Surly Gourmand

As if canceling Enos' show wasn't enough, now they have to go and close his namesake restaurant.
On July 2, the Surly Gourmand posted a scathing review of Eness, a French restaurant in West Seattle. Check that: Eness was a French restaurant in West Seattle; Nancy Leson is reporting that its doors are shut and it's soon to be replaced by the Blackboard Bistro in a California location that's proven to be somewhat ominous.

Surly fancies himself a French restaurant aficionado, and considers Le Pichet to be about the most orgasmic dining experience in all of Seattle. Which is all to say: His bar is high, and Eness fell well short of clearing it.

Wrote Surly: "We started with the chevre salade chaud, which at $9.90 seemed like some twitchy dude with OCD came up with that price. Plus it had this bizarre presentation: atop a bed of mixed greens were three wavy discs of Granny Smith apple, sliced like a Ruffles potato chip, and topped with a crostini, which in turn was topped with a round of chevre. This looked retardedly dated, like something Jacques Pepin came up with while drunk in 1976. Then Jacques Pepin realized it was a dumb idea and threw the plate down on the floor and did the centipede over it.

This salad was stupid. The vinaigrette was too sour, harshly overbalanced by balsamic vinegar. It was like licking a rusty machete. The apple slices were fine, but the crostini were burned. I get that you were supposed to cut through the cheese and into the bread and apple so you could get a bite of everything together, but that was difficult because the crostini were impossible to cut through. When you could actually get the cheese in with a bite of salad, it buffered the vinaigrette nicely, but that was tough to do with that fucking chastity belt crostini, which cock-blocked any attempt to mix the cheese in with the greens."

Surly won't have Eness to kick around anymore, but my, what a powerful foot.

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