Bitching About the Heat? Cliff Mass Thinks You're a Total Pussy

Mass hasn't had much opportunity to squash cartoon sunshine in the last year.
It'll probably hit 90 today. Big whoop, says the rest of the country. But what does Seattle do? It busts out the cooling stations, whatever those are.

The archduke of weather, Cliff Mass, isn't buying it. In fact, he rather belittles Seattleites who prefer their summer afternoons gray, cold, and liable to induce wrist-slitting.

"Buy some fans and some 5-star Thai food and you should be good," says Mass of the current, sure-to-be-short-lived heat wave.

Home Depot's AC salesman won't dig it, but Mass is to grumpy, pale, wool-socked Seattleites as Stan Van Gundy is to LeBron James' colossal free agent douchitude. Here's hoping King James knocks up a Kardashian.

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