For the last month I have worked towards abolishing my fad diet past of two gym memberships, faux workout partners (which only turn into pizza


Quitting Gary Coleman Cold Turkey

For the last month I have worked towards abolishing my fad diet past of two gym memberships, faux workout partners (which only turn into pizza eating companions), infomercial DVD purchases, and boxed dehydrated meals. I've ignored the obvious: eat healthy and exercise. I've been as blind as a member of the Tea Party.  


As a comedienne, it's hard to eat healthy when oftentimes you are paid with fried foods from clubs. After a while you start believing that french fries and ketchup constitute as a salad. My desire for weight loss isn't purely an aesthetic one as much as a desire to maintain a healthy lifestyle and lower my cholesterol. 


Grilled chicken sandwich smothered in hot sauce at Laughs Comedy Spot


This week included six shows, two of which were in my neighbor's rainy backyard for a Memorial Weekend barbecue. Despite the rain, each comic received mild laughs and multiple smiles-- the equivalent of killing in such a scenario.  


I performed Wednesday for Jay Jennings' industry-night show at Laughs Comedy Spot in Kirkland. The show was for an intimate crowd with a lot of spunk. There was a gentleman in the front row that spat out his water, lifted his leg and threw out his arm after one of my jokes. Spit takes to jokes have been rare reactions for me, but half crazed Kermit thrusts were a new response.

The joke that made him lose all bodily control: "My buddy's name is Reuben. I think his parents named him after looking through a deli menu? We could name him that's too pretentious. Reuben? Everyone likes sauerkraut. Grinder? That's too much pressure."

Gypsy Cafe's Turkey Burger with pretzels


It always feels a bit ironic being served on industry night, as if I'm saying we want to celebrate all that you do, but only after you pour me a beer. I had a juicy grilled chicken sandwich, with a real tender chicken breast smothered in hot sauce, and an arugula salad with balsamic vinaigrette. My favorite food at Laughs is on their Tuesday open mic's "Starving Artist menu." It's the one menu where you can eat like a king for pennies. Much of the food is of the nostalgic comfort variety: peanut butter and jelly, mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches. The only item I'm able to indulge in now is the hummus plate, although I'm not opposed to snagging a sweet potato fry or two as it's allowed on the list of foods I can eat.


Friday night was the "Who Shot JR?" show at the Gypsy Café in Fremont. The show surprisingly had as much to do with Dallas as Patrick Duffy's character on Step by Step. "Who Shot JR?" is a monthly comedy show created by comedian JR Berard. This free show featured roughly 12 comics, many of whom were less than one year into performing comedy. The room was packed with people eager to kick off their three-day weekend.


I enjoyed a turkey burger with lettuce, tomato, onions and green onion aioli. I had my heart set on a ground turkey burger. The Gypsy uses turkey patties instead and when you bite into patty expecting ground meat it's like taking a sip of 7-UP when you were expecting water a shock to the taste buds. However the burger was tasty and very filling as I was only able to finish half. The next time I visit the Gypsy, I'm going to try one of their sandwiches, as their menu is devoted more to deli items. The Gypsy Café has an assortment of pastries, beers and wines. Many of the patrons were expressing TGIF fever with forties.

Berard approached me five minutes before the show to ask if I wanted to headline. After 11 comics and one intermission break, the audience was surprisingly still alert and ready for more jokes. During my set I mentioned Gary Coleman, to which an audience member yelled out, "To soon!"

"Today soon, that's not even cold," I yelled. "I'm going to short people hell, which is like going to an amusement park and not getting on any rides...the story of my childhood."


The show was hosted by my boyfriend, comedian Alex Meyer, who had snidely joked on stage that in order to headline you needed to sleep with him. As I started, my set I quickly referred to Meyer's comments earlier stating, yes, you have to sleep with Alex to get on the show--but don't worry, it won't take too long. Thus it was once again proved that whoever has the mic last has the last word.  

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