Norm's Drinkers Poised to Capitalize on Milton Bradley's Temper, Futility

For Norm's regulars, Milton's meltdowns can't happen enough.
First-year Mariner Milton Bradley (shown here in the garb of his previous employer) went apeshit and stormed out of the dugout Tuesday night, something he does quite a bit. This tendency, coupled with his shitty .214 batting average, are why his agent typically has to find a new team to take Milt and his temper on after every season.

Norm's, a Fremont bar, has never been one to cry in its customers' beers. To the contrary, in years' past, it has offered domestic bottle discounts corresponding to the horrible batting averages of notorious big-bucks washout Richie Sexson and underachieving third baseman Adrian Beltre (who's back on his game this year in Boston).

Now, with Bradley currently hitting .214, a bottle of Bud currently goes for $2.14 at Norm's on Mondays (or whatever his batting average is by this coming Monday). But Norm's has added an extra wrinkle to this year's "crappy Mariner" promotion that stands to fatten bellies --and wallets--even further.

If Bradley spazzes out--storming out of the dugout, bumping an ump, flipping off rival fans, accusing an entire city of hating African-Americans (as he did in Chicago)--in the week leading up to a given Monday, Norm's patty melts, aka the "Milton Meltdown," will be discounted to $5 per sandwich, along with the cheapo brews.

The only problem with this promotion, other than the fact that Bradley's performance is tethered too closely to the home team's prospective fortunes this year, is that Bradley's likely on a pretty short leash. In other words, that next meltdown could be his--and your--last in Seattle.

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