Faux BBQ Pulled Pork That's Easier and Cheaper Than Frozen Pizza From the Oven

Let's get real here for a second: This recipe is not for foodies. In case you haven't noticed, I have no idea how to cook. But you don't have to know how to boil water to experience the joy of coming home to a Crock® full of pork ready to be pulled and folded into faux BBQ pulled pork.

This recipe is for people who do not cook. This is for people who visit Domino's more often than their freezer. Because unlike every recipe you've ever seen made on TV, read in a magazine, or glazed over in a cookbook, this is something a person who's never cooked a meal in their life actually will/can cook. Why? Because it really is easy, it really is cheap, and it really will only take you 45 seconds to make.

The recipe/process is as follows:

-- Take a pork shoulder out of the wrapper--I've done as large as 6 pounds*, and last night was 3--and place it in your slow cooker fat side up (the more fat the better).

-- Sprinkle a lot of salt--more than you think human's should consume--and a lot of pepper on top.

-- Add a cup or two of water.

-- Set your slow cooker to "low."

-- Get the hell out of your house and go to work.

At about 5 p.m., when you're getting close to clocking out, you'll realize: "Oh, shit, I've got a pork roast reading to tear apart at home!"

When you get home--I suggest at least 10 hours, though I've done as long as 14 for large shoulders--remove the roast from the Crock® and place it in a casserole dish. Drink one beer. When you're done with your beer, you pork shoulder will be ready to be turned into faux BBQ pulled pork.

Take a pair of forks and pull that sucker apart. Kind of shred it. It'll be falling apart like butter, so this will be a cinch. When it's pulled to the consistency of the last plate of pulled pork you had, you're done. Move some pork to you plate and add BBQ sauce to taste.

There, you've done it. You just cooked a really, really damn good dinner **.

For the rest of you, no, this isn't the same as BBQ pulled pork. It tastes about as much like real BBQ pulled pork as Taco Time burritos taste like authentic burritos. Which is to say this pulled pork dinner tastes really, really damn good, is really, really damn easy, and is really, really damn cheap (QFC often puts shoulders on sale for 99 cents a pound).


* This is great for parties. They sell a bag of pork shoulder at Costco for around a buck a pound. It's two shoulders and about 10 or 11 pounds total. Do the same recipe here, but don't add water. Seriously. Just meat, salt, and pepper.

**Yes, pork with BBQ sauce can/should be considered a complete meal.

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