Danes Denied Beer at Work, Much to the Chagrin of Danes

"Shit, I guess now I have to pack a lunch."
Carlsberg's decision to limit drinking on the job to one beer during lunch break understandably prompted a strike among employees at Denmark's biggest brewery last week.

For the Danes (I happen to be one), everyday drinking is a birth right, and the managers a Carlsberg better be afraid. Unions are joining the fight for boozing it up on the job. An agreement is expected at the end of the month.

For over a century workers at Danish breweries have been allowed three beers during the day, and Carlsberg's new alcohol policy is a slap in the face, say employees.

"I need a beer when I take a cigarette break," Juseif Izaivi told WSJ.com.

And just to show how big of a deal this corporate social responsibility nonsense is to the Vikings, Carlsberg truck drivers whose three beers a day will not be affected by the new law have also joined the strike.

But what about drunkenness on the job, you might ask?

The legal drinking age in Denmark is 16. That means, that while your high school dances were chaperoned, we had bouncers--and being president of the social committee, I also happened to have the key to the liquor cabinet.

To the Danes, drinking is not just a leisure activity reserved for happy hour, it's our culture. That's why one of the most popluar TV shows ever on Danish television depicted the entire history of Carslberg's breweries. It's why we did nothing but sigh when we learned our Prime Minister had spent a lot of tax money on red wine.

Trust me, we Danes got this down. I mean, we are talking about a nation who in 2008 ran out of ale during Christmas. We are proud of our taste for hooch, and won't pathetically hide it in a brown bag. Let's hope Carlsberg recovers from this temporary brain damage, and lets people drink on the job again.

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