Photo courtesy
The picture above? It's of the brand new Pacific Shrimp Taco currently being pimped ad nauseum by Taco Bell, in a commercial


The Videos: Shrimp Blogger? So This Is What We've Sunk To...

Photo courtesy
The picture above? It's of the brand new Pacific Shrimp Taco currently being pimped ad nauseum by Taco Bell, in a commercial which features, of all things, a fictional "shrimp blogger" talking about the new $2.50 delight at Le Bell.

The video below? That's the actual commercial in question. Let's talk after the jump, shall we?

Okay, so first off, seriously? A shrimp blogger? Where, exactly, do I sign up for that job? And who are the people out there in the great wide weird--the arguable audience for this ad--who believe that such a person exists? I'm guessing this is the same broad sample of knuckleheads who think it would be a good idea to eat shrimp from a Taco Bell, but I'm just sayin'...

Second, why does the "shrimp blogger" have to be British? Why is it that whenever someone is supposed to sound smart, trustworthy or worldly, advertisers give them an English accent and assume that Americans will just accept him or her as a globe-trotting genius? I knew a guy back in high school who was from England, and he wasn't smart, trustworthy or worldly. He was actually a dumb, hillbilly racist who wore leather pants in the summer and hated Jews. But he had the accent (and a hyphenated name--Donald Kimble-Smythe or something--which never hurts) and ended up getting into Cornell.

Of course, the summer before college, he tried to rob a bank and was caught almost immediately. Being the only person in Irondequoit, New York with an English accent? That didn't exactly help him get away.

To me, an English accent doesn't equal intelligence and good breeding. It just makes you sound like a hobbit or Hugh Grant. Every time I see a British person on the street, I want to walk up to them and demand that they do lines from Lord of the Rings. Also, every time I see a midget, I want to make them do Hugh Grant impressions, but I digress...

For the sake of argument, let's say that being a British "shrimp blogger" is a real gig. Let's say, just for fun, that said "shrimp blogger" gets to travel all over the world eating shrimp and blogging about it. Let's gloss over the fact that I know a lot of quote/unquote professional bloggers and most of them can't afford a $2.50 taco, let alone all those plane tickets. Let's not concern ourselves with precisely who would read a blog devoted to nothing but shrimp. Let's just say this "shrimp blogger" exists, gets to hang out on shrimp boats and walk the stony beaches of Thailand doing nothing but "traveling the globe looking for the perfect prawn" like he claims. He's well-traveled. He's British. He has the greatest job in the world.

And then he throws it all away so that he can run off to Indianapolis or Walla Walla to eat a fast food shrimp taco from a drive-thru? This is how you want your trusted source on all things shrimp-y to behave?

Man, that dude would be so fired.

Of course, with the accent, he'd probably just end up getting a new job the next day as a candy-taster or blowjob critic.

I've got to learn how to fake a British accent one of these days.

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