My Kind of Pizza, Chicago's Is

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Sheehan is lucky that Al Capone is dead, although the guy playing him probably prefers New York pie too.
This week, Jason Sheehan uses his review of two Seattle-based purveyors of Chicago-style pizza to make one thing abundantly clear: He finds deep-dish pizza to be vastly inferior to the thin, tangy slices slung in his native New York. The crux of Sheehan's argument is that Chicago-style pizza isn't even pizza; rather, it's essentially a giant tomato and cheese sandwich, with way too much bread.

Don't get me wrong: I like thin slices. But the only thing that disqualifies a pizza from being pizza is the presence of broccoli on it. (Someone in our office actually ordered a pizza with broccoli on it today. Shame on her.) And for my money, I'll take Chicago--the city and the pizza--over New York any night (or morning!) of the week.

In his vicious take-down of Chicago pie, Sheehan argues that the massive amount of crust contained in a deep-dish 'za deadens all other forces of flavor. That's a somewhat acceptable argument. However, it's also one that fails to consider the fact that, for many pie lovers, the crust is the best part. And there's no better crust than the crust on a Chicago-style pie.

Chicago-style pie is also better suited to the common man, whose primary purpose in eating is to fill his gut up. New York pie, while undeniably tasty, takes about four slices to get the job done. Meanwhile, one or two Chicago slices is guaranteed to do the trick. Windy City pies are also gigantic canvasses for aspiring sauce artists, whereas New Yorkers will crumble under the force of a robust pour. And Chicago's is a far better sponge for beer, the Garfunkel to pizza's Simon.

Lastly, Chicago is a superior city to New York. The standup's funnier, the rent is cheaper, there's just as much to do, and Lake Michigan is basically an ocean. Furthermore, the people are nicer--and fatter. That right there's all the proof you need that Chicago-style pies git 'er done in a way New York's can't conceive.

 
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