As long as I'm saying goodbye to the things I love best about eating in Seattle, I also had to get this off my chest:
1. Sloppy service. There are great waiters and front-of-house managers in Seattle, but even more who can't be bothered to learn their craft. It's not just about tapping orders into the computer and delivering plates, it's about being mindful. (Of customers.)
2. Dick's. You have to be either born in Seattle or trashed to like the pallid burgers and limp fries. I just don't get the love this city heaps on Dick's.
3. Overdressed salads. Some of us like to taste the vegetables underneath the vinaigrette. The classic ratio is 1 part vinegar to 3 parts oil, not 1:1. Would it help to tattoo that onto your forearm?
4. All but two of the baristas at the 15th Ave. Victrola Coffee. The staff at Stumptown, Porchlight, Fuel, Vita, Vivace, Trabant, and Zoka all deliver great coffee without basilisk greetings and wan smirks. Why can't you?
5. March. The entire month.