Art of the Pie's Kate McDermott is a pastry enabler, encouraging her students to mix up the perfect pie crust, warmly helping them overcome their fears of failure. Not the Awl's Choire Sicha.
Put some very cold water in there, and smush it together! Like, not very much water! Maybe half a cup, maybe 3/4s of a cup! Sometimes it's a whole cup, I don't know why. It doesn't matter!and
put it in a ziploc bag in the freezer for half an hour and go SMOKE some more.Aha! A cooking teacher who gives instructions like my old chefs.
If shame can't motivate you into making a good pie crust, perhaps you should call Seattle Pie Co. or Shoofly Pie. And from the looks of his photo, the man can bake, though one suspects his pies are ever-so-lightly perfumed with cigarette ash.