As a card carrying member of the Colbert Nation, it's been a giant pea in my matress trying to find Ben & Jerry's newest ice

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Seattle's Liberal Frozen Treat Agenda

Having trouble finding Stephen Colbert's new ice cream?

As a card carrying member of the Colbert Nation, it's been a giant pea in my matress trying to find Ben & Jerry's newest ice cream flavor, Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream. You'd think coming across the stuff would be a snap.

But not in Seattle. Nooooo, As one Safeway employee told me, "Well, with Phish food, Cherry Garcia and the half-baked flavors, he[Colbert] just doesn't fit." Yeah, well don't let America hear you say that, Moonbeam. Americone Dream just became the best selling Ben & Jerry's flavor in the nation (look it up). And if two aging Vermont peaceniks can endorse (and profit from) the conservative power that is Colbert, surely he's worth a little of Seattle's nonchalant accord.

Outrageously, only FIVE groceries were carrying Colbert's Americone Dream, of the more than 50 stores surveyed in my straw (spoon?) poll. But SEVEN of the stores I called reported someone in the ice cream section AT THAT TIME searching for Colbert's frosty goodness. While none of the QFC stores I called carry Colbert's flavor, they all stocked the new and inferior Country Peach Cobbler from Willie Nelson. Innnteresting, but not surprising. It's just another chapter in Seattle's long history of frozen food section bias. Go ask the Gordon's fisherman, he'll tell you.

Maybe the flavor would be more appealing in the Northwest if he was wearing one of these... and maybe some crokies.

The following stores are fair, and balanced, and American enough to stock the rich vanilla ice cream studded with chocolate-covered waffle cone pieces nestled around a thick, satisfying caramel swirl:

Magnolia Thriftway, Roosevelt and Westlake Whole Foods, Metropolitan Market Lower Queen Anne and U-Village Ben & Jerry's. The Sand Point Metropolitan Market carries both Stephen and Willie's flavors and is having a contest to see which will outsell the other. (So if you live up off Lake City Way, drive over and help kick some pigtailed butt.)

*** Drop a line in the comments section if you spot Americone Dream in your local freezer section. And if you're jonesing for Willie's Peach Cobbler, well...get off the couch, hippie, and do your own research.

 
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